Friday, March 31, 2006

Drug War Revisited

Stossel Asks The Right Questions.

John Stossel tackles the war on drugs and reaches my conclusion: the war isn't working, so why aren't we looking at other ways.

I am not in favor of hard, recreational drug use. I would fight it with every fiber of my being. Some people can never get past the harm of drug use, which I do not deny. But one must always ask, when formulating policy, what is effective as well is what is "right" or "good." I also favor, given my libertarian leanings, freedom in the absence of force or fraud. But I don't care to go down the "freedom" road on the issue of drugs. I will trade my libertarian stripes for drug prohibition if it will achieve its objectives. But it doesn't.

I just want to know: what has the money spent on the war on drugs produced. The answer: more prisoners, less civil liberties, more drug related crime, a budget black hole at every level, and no reduction in the availability of drugs. As Stossel summarizes:

I was once among the majority who believe that drug use must be illegal. But then I noticed that when vice laws conflict with the law of supply and demand, the conflict is ugly, and the law of supply and demand generally wins. The drug war costs taxpayers about $40 billion. "Up to three quarters of our budget can somehow be traced back to fighting this war on drugs," said Jerry Oliver, then chief of police in Detroit, told me. Yet the drugs are as available as ever.

Plus, our drug laws only serve to fund the criminals of this country and many others, including terrorists. As Stossel sees it, this is what we reap from our war:

1. More crime. Rarely do people get high and then run out to commit crimes. Most "drug crime" happens because the product is illegal. Since drug sellers can't rely on the police to protect their property, they form gangs and arm themselves. Drug buyers steal to pay the high black market prices. The government says alcohol is as addictive as heroin, but no one is knocking over 7-Elevens to get Budweiser.

2. More terrorism. The profits of the drug trade fund terrorists from Afghanistan to Colombia. Our herbicide-spraying planes teach South American farmers to hate America.

3. Richer criminal gangs. Alcohol prohibition created Al Capone. The gangs drug prohibition is creating are even richer, probably rich enough to buy nuclear weapons. Osama bin Laden was funded partly by drug money.

At the end of the day, I want a better America and a more effective policy. If it isn't some form of legalization, then tell me what it is. The current system cannot be defended on any rational cost/benefit analysis.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Gay* Thursday 3/30

Today's Gay* Thursday is not really all that gay.* First, I have no really happy stories, though this one is colorful.

Colorful Antics.

Cynthia McKinney, forever the victim of racist attacks and wearer of very bright clothes, had a run in with a House police officer. This is standard conduct for her. Her conspiracy theories, including being one of the first Congresspersons to openly admit a belief that President Bush had prior knowledge of 9/11, would be humorous if it weren't so scary that her district, adjacent to my own, will vote for her no matter what.

The one term Ms. McKinney missed was because another black liberal ran against her in a Democratic primary, and all the conservatives in the district voted (along with some black liberals) for her opponent in the primary. [Her opponent then, apparently believing she was going to lose to Cynthia the next time, ran for Senate and lost badly.] Her father, a former state legislator, is also famous in these parts for blaming that loss on the Jooos and once pulling a knife on another legislator.

The issues: (1) She was bypassing security. (2) She was not wearing her lapel pin that makes identification of House members easier for security. (3) She recently changed her hair style and has, I was told by Boortz, "put some junk in the trunk." Compare older top picture with more recent picture below. (4) She was not entering her own office building, but a different House office building, for a meeting.

Under the circumstances, I would expect the officers to know her. She is a trouble maker and it is good for the police to know the trouble makers.

Humor Item For The Day:

Indiana is finally joining Daylight Savings Time. Purdue computer people fear the next Y2K.

But IT staff at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana, fear the change will create complications galore.

"This is like Y2K except this one is really happening," said university IT spokesman Steve Tally.

Maybe Brad can help.

The Economy Is Great -- Just Admit It.

The Left cannot admit a great economy. When the economy boomed under Clinton (as it had been doing pretty much uninterupted, barring a short time after Gulf War I, since 1983), conservatives didn't deny it. They just credited the policies of President Reagan that continued to reap benefits.

The Left cannot do it. I have watched speakers refer, matter of factly without citing any supporting statistic of any kind, that President Bush has killed the economy, the middle class, etc. There is not evidence of it.

Chris Matthews calls our economy "not terrible." We have 4.8 percent unemployment and 17 straight quarters of positive economic growth. Well, I guess "not terrible" is a true statement.

Even Blue Voter Meccas like NYC are seeing a 5 year low in unemployment.

Tax cuts, one of the few conservative adgendas on the Bush platform, worked. If only we could quit spending so much money on programs we nearly had eliminated under the Clinton economic boom.

Dumbass Quote of the Day:

"I was treated well, but I don't know why I was kidnapped." Yeah, other than that whole shooting of your bodyguard, kidnapping you and keeping you for 3 months while releasing video threats of the intent to kill you, you were treated just peachy.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Advice Fer The Rookie


Keyser! Listen up!

I don't know what that slick Hotlanta shyster you shack up with has been telling you, but listen to an old hound dawg who's been around the block a time or two.

You want to stay away from the stuff in the brown and green bottles. Stick to the old ways...

These young pups. Ya have to teach 'em everything these days.

Yeah, But It Is Just Lacrosse

Duke University has cancelled its entire Lacrosse season until an investigation of an allegation that three of the team members (as yet undetermined) were involved in an alleged rape at an off campus party is completed.

While that is such an upstanding position to take, let us not forget that it is just a lacrosse season.

Don't get me wrong, I am not busting on the merits of the sport. It is much better to watch than soccer.

But lacrosse doesn't bring a dime to the university.

It is easy to take the moral highground without the loss of funds.

Do you think Duke would have cancelled its basketball season, and the money that goes with the NCAA tournament, had its basketball players been accused of such conduct? Given how Duke's basketball fans act, it would take a lot more than a mere rape allegation.

Side notes: the lacrosse team has only one black player out of 48. Are they racist?

Oh, yeah, Duke sucks. Here is essay written by a friend of mine (he is not a UK fan; he is a UNC grad/fan and a Duke law grad) that proves it.

[I actually like all the Duke fans that I personally know. But Duke still sucks.]

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Cheese Staff Adds Keyser Soze

The newest member of the Cheese staff is Keyser Soze.

His resume is here.

No one won a free year's subscription to the No Government Cheese Insiders' Page. Discount subsriptions are available to all who played.

No weiner dogs were harmed in the operation of this contest.

Tuesday Tidbits

Assemblyman Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, [said that though they] may be small in number, "they're loud, they're obnoxious, they're disgusting and they should get out of San Francisco."

What were they? A NAMBLA support march? No. A Nazi demonstration? No.

The obnoxious group was 25,000 Christian youth who rallied to counter a popular culture that the rally organizers say "glamorizes violence and sex." Religious speakers spoke. Christian rock bands rocked. Sadly for the San Francisco cultural eliute, there was no sex, no violence, no foul language, no anti-Bush or military messages and no destruction of private property.


Politics always comes full circle. Today, liberals attack and conservatives protect our free speech. In the 1950's, it was often the other way around. Today, conservatives are accused of violating our civil liberties. But who is the driving force behind taxation abuses? The left, with its never ending desire to tax and spend. So what happens when the left actually convinces people to use less gas? A drop in gas tax revenues. Ask Oregon.

Never underestimate the desire of the government to get at your money. And any "secondary" privacy interest be damned. What is Oregon's solution? Mileage counting monitors on your car. Is GPS far behind? Of course not. Sounds too Bush-Reich like to me.


Did you predict all four Final Four teams in your NCAA pool? Then you are as stupid as this man who did also.


If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them."

But you should be.


Today's tip from Uncle KJ:

Do not expect good things to happen after you use your girlfriend's phone to take a picture of a stripper.

Finally, the new hot documentary, Super Gag Me.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Government Cheese Medical Advice


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Where Is Bush?

Michelle Malkin asks simply, "Hello, anyone, hello?" She is asking Bush. For good reason.

Abdul Rahman is a man of faith. "I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in Christ. And I am a Christian," he declared this week.

Unfortunately for Rahman, he was originally born a Muslim in Afghanistan -- and he has been forced to defend his religious conversion in his home country's court, where he now faces the death penalty for turning to Jesus.

This is not a Taliban story. This is happening right now. And Bush is as silent as Amnesty Internaional and the ACLU.

This is a watershed moment in the post-Sept. 11 world. The Taliban are out of power. And yet today, an innocent man sits in the jail of a "moderate" Muslim nation praying for his life because he owned a Bible and refuses to renounce his Christian faith. Rahman, who converted many years ago while working for a Christian aid agency in Germany, "is standing by his words," fellow jail inmate Sayad Miakel told Canada's Globe and Mail. Another cellmate, Khalylullah Safi, reported: "He keeps looking up to the sky, to God."

As of Tuesday afternoon, left-wing Amnesty International had nothing to say about the case. But neither did President Bush, a man of faith and a Christian brother. During his extensive White House press conference on the War on Terror and the defense of freedom overseas, Bush spent plenty of time describing what life was like for Afghanis before Operation Enduring Freedom:
"There was no such thing as religious freedom. There was no such thing as being able to express yourself in the public square. There was no such thing as press conferences like this. They were totalitarian in their view. And that would be -- I'm referring to the Taliban, of course. And that's how they would like to run government. They rule by intimidation and fear, by death and destruction. And the United States of America must take this threat seriously and must not -- must never forget the natural rights that formed our country."

President Bush, who will defend Abdul Rahman's natural rights from being usurped and terminated by Afghanistan's Islamic executioners?

The Left will eat this up as an example of Bush hypocricy. Ater Mr. Rahman is dead of course. But the Left will be right for the wrong reason [sorry -- the word play was not intentional]. Bush should be doing something. He is letting us down if this is what we are fighting and dying for in Afghanistan.

Tee bee has some links and thoughts of her own.

Native American Warrior

Really cool slide show of funeral with a Native American flavor for a fallen Marine.

“He earns the American flag from his government,” says Vietnam veteran John Around Him. “He earns the eagle feather from his people.”

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Contempt or Condescension For Those That Serve

I admit that I watch Bill Maher's left wing love fest of a political show sometimes. Like a good car wreck, I look as I channel surf through my 62 HBO options of crap on Friday night as I lay in bed watching TV while not having sex.

Sometimes he has one conservative who is pounded constantly by three leftists. On this night the "right" was represented by Florida Congresswoman Ileanna Ros-Lehtinen.
The rest of the time he has Andrew Sullivan on the show.

Anyway, I saw an exchange last weekend in which Richard Belzer tries to say he admires and loves the troops, but he, not they, knows what is going on in Iraq. Why? Because they are stupid, uneducated kids who couldn't get a job and had no choice but to go into the military. Don't take my word for it. Let's read the video:

Richard Belzer: "Yeah, come on. Our soldiers now are at ..."

Ros-Lehtinen: "Are a volunteer force, a volunteer force."

Belzer: "Okay, fine. No one questions the nobility and the honor that these men and woman who are serving and what they're doing. No one questions that. [For the record, I don't believe him. I think he does question all those things. And now, I hear a "Buttmonkey" coming.] But now they're targets, they're not going out. Now they're just protecting each other and they're in the middle of a civil war. So it's really not fair to have these people who volunteered their lives to protect our nation under false pretenses to now be a target ..."
[Loud applause for Belzer]

Ros-Lehtinen: "Ask them. Ask them if it's fair! Wait a minute, wait a minute. My stepson, wait a minute, my stepson ..."

Belzer: "That's bullshit. Ask them! They're not .. they don't read twenty newspapers a day [It probably hasn't occured to Belzer that newspapers may not be the most accurate sources of information on Iraq]. They're under the threat of death every minute. They're not the best people to ask about the war because they're going to die any second."

Ros-Lehtinen: "Wait a minute! You are talking about my stepson, my stepson who just finished last week eight months of duty ..."

Belzer: "God bless your stepson. Doesn't mean he's a brilliant scholar about the war because he's there. And God bless him."

Ros-Lehtinen: "Oh, you are though! You are though? Okay."

Belzer: "Well I have more time, I'm not there. My life is not under threat."

Ros-Lehtinen: "Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad."

Bill Maher: "I think the point he's trying to make is that a 19-year-old who is in that army because he probably couldn't find other employment ..."

Ros-Lehtinen: "He's a college graduate. He's a Marine officer. He volunteered for the Marines."

Belzer: "He's the exception for the rule."

Ros-Lehtinen: "He's not the exception for the rule. I've been there ..."

Belzer: "You think everyone over there is a college graduate? They're 19 and 20-year-old kids who couldn't get a job ..."

To Maher's credit, after Belzer followed this exchange with an "F" bomb, Maher told him he ws crossing the line and losing him.

Sadly, this is the attitude of the military I see from a large segment of the hard left.

I am not saying that one all who are liberal or against this war have an improper view of the military and the people in it. I am simply talking about those that do, and they are numerous.

There are two kinds of leftists as I see it. Some believe that those in the military are part of a silly, patriotic, unquestioning war mongering fringe. They hold these people in contempt for their uncivilized bruteness and assume the worst of them at all times. Others, like Belzer, have view our brave and sacrificing soldiers as "poor children who don't know any better."

This is called condescension.

They don't see it that way. Why kid ourselves with the Left's "Buttmonkeys."

"Saddam was not a nice guy, but . . . ."

"Sure we don't want another 9/11, but . . . ."

"The people in the military are heroes, but . . . ."

A good friend of mine in my church is shipping out to Iraq this week. He served in Afghanistan already. He is college educated, gainfully employed, older, and has stayed in the reserves despite having a six figure income for several years. He also has run our missions, foreign and domestic, for several years.

A mentally unbalanced war monger? Just another stupid kid who couldn't get a job? Yet another exception to the rule?

You tell me Dick Belzer.

Monday, March 20, 2006

NCAA Basketball

In addition to being a Kentucky fan, I am a huge college basketball fan. After watching a season and half of the tournament, there is no doubt that the NBA, which is an awful product to watch I think, has destroyed the quality of the NCAA game. Don't get me wrong. The NCAA tournament is still the best event out there. But there is no questioning the quality of the play is not what it once was.

This years All-American team (there are many versions - here is one example) would not beat more time than not the following single teams from just the 1990's:

1996 Kentucky Wildcats
1992 Duke Blue Devils, and
1990 UNLV Running Rebels.

The "leaving early for the NBA" movement was already in full force in the 1990's, but it was still the exception rather than the rule. Not so anymore. Duke has proven this year that if you can convince a good (Williams) and a great (Reddick) player to return for four years, you don't need much more to be in position to make a run on the title.

Teams like this will not exist again unless great players have a reason to play three, much less four seasons, in college.

I'm not suggesting that there should be a law. I am just lamenting that I have already witnessed the greatest college basketball teams that I will ever see.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Kudos To The Free Market Greenies

The problem with most of the environmental movement today is that the movement is controlled by watermelons. They are green on the outside, but red on the inside. They are former Marxists looking for a home after the fall of communism, and they found it in the anti-progress, anti-capitalist environmental movement.

But conservatives and libertarians care about the environment, too. They recognize that pollution is a social cost not fully burdened on the polluter in most situations. Thus, some mechanism, which means government "regulation" of some sort, must find a way to place the costs on the polluter. Conservatives and libertarians recognize that some pollution and use of resources is good, and the proper regulation comes in fixing cost and letting the market work. Watermelons want government command and control. Watermelons, BTW, suck.

A related issue is conservation. Because the green movement is the watermelon movement, the only answer is to get laws passed preserving land or taking it by the government. As greens have learned however, you don't buy votes in Washington, or in any other government. You rent them. And thus, the answer to the problem is not government, but property rights.

A British paper reports that a British millionaire has figured this out. He has purchased a rainforest the size of greater London, and ordered all tree cutting to cease. So long as his property rights are recognized in Brazil, his plan is the best of all possible worlds. He owns the land and has every right to "preserve" it. I applaud his recognition that the answer to the environmental issues of the day lie in the free market. His whole hearted embrace of global warming theories and his politics in general may make we hesitate to vote for this guy, but his use of his money is just fine with me.

When I was in college some decade plus ago, I did a speech on the environmental movements' need to shift its money spending focus from renting Congressional votes to buying property and mineral rights. Some organizations, such as The Nature Conservancy, are already doing this. Numerous organizations are now promoting ideas such as the Conservation Easement.

Many environmental efforts are not really about science or the environment. Some people just want to live in nature and not have other people's proper use of their property interfere with view. In such cases, these methods are particularly appropriate. They do not seek to use the sword of government to achieve what is simply a private preference objective.

It is no surprise to me that the answer to environmental concerns is in the free market and not the rented power to regulate. But that will not stop other organizations from continuing to waste resources and time doing by force that might be done by agreement.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Caption Contest

Take your best shots.

My two entries:

1. Barbara tried desperately to find a way to get men to pay attention to her in some way other than staring at her chest. It didn't work.

2. Jimmy liked dating models, but found them extremely boring and uninteresting. Then, he had an idea.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Ken Shamrock, UFC Champion, before he sold out to the WWE. I'll bet my Shamrock can protect me this St. Patty's Day better than your shamrock.

Don't drink too much.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Thursday, March 16, 2006


Like spd, I'm busy doing the law stuff today.

But I hear that many bad math students are celebrating Pi Day today. Can you imagine? What idiots.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Carnival Carnival

Carnival of Liberty XXXVI is up and hosted by our favorite self-proclaimed young curmudgeon and advertising of all things gambling, Brad the Unrepentant Individual.

I know I haven't been a good Life Liberty Property member lately. I haven't posted a real editorial piece much about any of these subjects lately.

Make no mistake about it, though. You will find solid discussion among this group's members.

I'm not suggesting everyone is 100% in my book, but you won't find any stinking pinko commies in the crowd.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Good Stuff

I really enjoyed this post by TigerHawk on the inventions and contributions of Islam to the world. Besides pointing out the lamentable truth that the answer is "not much," he also deconstructs the fallacy of the many of the items on the list.

Play it as it lays, she says. A golf reference from a female? I won't say it. Very well. I call it sour grapes.

The first game of the NCAA Tourney is over. Monmouth is the winner. Whatever.

You may like this, though. Tired of picking your NCAA pool based on talent and coaching? Try the alternatives suggested by this author. Examples: toughest mascots and party schools.

Wondering why Grandpa has shown a sudden interest in viagra after you hired the new at home German nurse?

If only this would happen in the Courts more often.

May Your Pi Day Be Irrational

Today is 3-14, or as it is known to many a Math major, Pi Day.

Pi Day dot Org describes Pi thusly:

Pi, a Greek letter, is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. It is approximately 22/7 and is usually calculated to 3 digits, 3.14. With the use of computers, Pi has been caculated to over 51 billion decimal places. Pi is an irrational number meaning it will continue infinitely without repeating. The symbol for pi, , was first used in 1737 by William Jones, but was popular after it was adopted by the Swiss mathematician Leonhard Euler in 1737.

If you want to send that special someone a Pi Day card, do so here.

Math teacher Lavern Chirstionson wrote some Pi Day songs. Let's sing this one together:

Oh Number PI

Oh, number Pi
Oh, number Pi
Your digits are unending,
Oh, number Pi
Oh, number Pi
No pattern are you sending.

You're three point one four one five nine,
And even more if we had time,
Oh, number Pi
Oh, number Pi
For circle lengths unbending.

Oh, number Pi
Oh, number Pi
You are a number very sweet,
Oh, number Pi
Oh, number Pi
Your uses are so very neat.
There's 2 Pi r and Pi r squared,
A half a circle and you're there,
Oh, number Pi
Oh, number Pi
We know that Pi's a tasty treat.

Pi is without a doubt the most interesting of numbers. Its history is complex, its exact determination impossible.

If you were thinking, "yeah" I would like to know about Pi Day and the types of activities that I could do at home with my kids who are flunking Algebra, here are some links:

A Pi Day reference page from Math teachers in St. Louis.

Exploratorium celebrates Pi Day, and points out that it is also Albert Einstein's birthday.

A great gift is the Pi Necklace.

Other Pi Day gifts.

The official Pi Day Org has lots of links, including Pi to one million digits.

I, thanks to scientific calculators that kept me entertained during boring math classes, memorized Pi to 15 digits in high school.

What is your favorite story about Pi? Did Pi help you calculate the amount of aluminum you needed to make a soda can with a 3 inch radius? Did it help you figure out how much rubber you needed to make a new tire for your SUV?

Have a fovorite Pi joke? "How do you reason with Pi?" A: You can't. It's irrational.

Please share on this great day.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Bag O' Mail

As you all know, I've been a really light blogger these past few weeks, and really most of the year. So I have decided to reprint some of the e-mail I have received here at the Cheese. Like a clip show, this provides me with a quick and easy filler post that requires very little effort or original writing. Enjoy.

To: KJ
From: tee bee
Re: Slacker

Hey, KJ.

When are you going to write something, slacker? I wouldn't care, but my name is listed on your blog as a contributor. I ought to be listed as the boss. In case you didn't notice, I have a full time blog, too. It isn't my job to make up for your slack when you aren't even out of town or in trial for corruption and tax evasion and stuff like you mayor. Do you expect me to save your butt with caption contests forever?
It isn't like I don't have other things to do. I have my own blog you know, if I didn't mention that. I also have to take care of my bees. Do you think pollen just grows on trees? How about writing a post for your readers so they aren't wasting their valuable time coming here three times a day to see if you are still a slacker?

tee bee

To: KJ
From: Tortsti Balderrama
Re: Pharama18cy news

Cialus: $99 Couldn't you use some happiness loser?
Valium: $119 You probably don't need this, with your personality. Just try listening to yourself.
Viagra: $69. Yeah, that price isn't a mistake. C'mon, you know you need this, and wouldn't it be better to order it illegally over the internet than to go to a doctor and admit your limp?

Save 50% online at

To: KJ
From: The Libertarian Party
Re: The War On Terror

Dear valued member of the Party,

Please come back. We aren't just about drugs, prostitution and being soft in the war on terror. Those are just the California libertarians. Damn them all!

To: KJ
From: Cassandra
Re: This isn't about you

C'mon KJ, not everything I write is about you. Quit being such a self-centered boob. Maybe I actually read something by someone else that got my blood boiling you livid terrier hater of children.

And no, I'm not going to send you that picture of me in the red dress again. I shouldn't have sent it the first time. Or the second time. That was just the wine I guess. If you liked it so much, you shouldn't have lost it.


To: KJ
From: Cody Coby
Re: Wow!

-Sensattional revolution in meedicine!-E-nlarge your p-enis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!-It's herbal solution what hasn't side effect, but has 100% guaranteeed results!-Don`'t loose your chance and but know wihtout doubts,, you will be impressed with results!!!

To: KJ
From: Dr. Clement Okun
Re: Business Oportunity





So, as you can see, in addition to my day job, I have a number of e-mails to respond to from my adoring fan base. I'll post some original material again soon. In the meantime, take care.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

NGC Blog Caption Contest

tee bee

You know what to do...

Photo: AP.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

That's a pig?

Yes, I'm slacking off at blogging, but I am not slacking off at work.

But --

I drew a pig. What it means. Those are supposed to be fangs coming out of his mouth. I also drew some of the more popular cuts off the pig.

Maybe I should have had a bigger lunch.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Enemy of My Enemy or, How I Learned to Quit Worrying and Love the Gipper

tee bee

Byron York notes, tongue in cheek, that Salon is finally out of the closet: they do love Reagan, after all.

The online magazine Salon displays a heretofore unseen reverence for conservative ideals and the Reagan legacy:

Join Salon Premium today and receive a free copy of Impostor: How George W. Bush Bankrupted America and Betrayed the Reagan Legacy.

In this new expose, conservative economist Bruce Bartlett depicts a White House obsessed with secrecy and terrified of upsetting the boss with bad news.

Fired from a think tank for diverging from the party line, Bartlett writes that "Bush is more like Richard Nixon -- a man who used the right to pursue his agenda, but was never really part of it. In short, he is an impostor..."

Written by a self-described Reaganite, Impostor makes the case that Bush is an "unprincipled opportunist" who "creates a cult of personality."

I don't find much Reagan-lovin' in there, but I do see a whole, fat, happy lot of Bush bashin'.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Gratuitous Caption Contest: Oscar Edition

tee bee

Is that Rhea Perlman's sister? No, that's one of America's hottest young rockers, Eddie Van Halen, at Elton John's Oscar party on Sunday.

Personally, I'd like to be reassured that those are matches in his hand.

Photo: AP.

And It's Not Even Thursday...

tee bee

From AP via Fox News : "Lesbian Crowned Homecoming King at Md. College."

Sadly, no photos were available of the newly appointed royalty. That's not very gay, and Homecoming is clearly a happy occasion.

UPDATE - We have pictures! Happy, smiley pictures!

Now I can see why the guys are so pissed off. She's cute.

Photo via AP.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Tantric Trial Lawyer, or 'How I Found Inner Peace and Learned to Stop Chasing Ambulences'

tee bee

Rich Barlowe writes in the Boston Globe:

Even in the hereafter, they tell lawyer jokes. Nor was Jesus above venting against experts in the religious law of Moses. ''Woe also to you scholars of the law!" he declares in Luke's gospel. ''You impose on people burdens hard to carry, but you yourselves do not lift one finger to touch them."

The idea that lawyers need a dose of spirituality finds a modern prophet in Northeastern University law professor David Hall, who says his profession is in depression and must openly reclaim spiritual values to reconnect with its noble mission.

Some have disagreed with his prescription, but there's evidence that the legal field is indeed in a funk.

A survey six years ago by the American Bar Association found three-quarters of lawyers reporting themselves anywhere from ''somewhat satisfied" to ''very dissatisfied" with their work. Hall blames nasty court battles, some lawyers' sense of working solely to make money for other people, and the focus of law schools on teaching legal rules, rather than moral values.

Sure, those things could be the nugget of truth behind some of our favorite lawyer jokes, like:
The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

But not everyone likes Hall's idea. He notes that one person commented after a talk he had given that tapping the spiritual for coping and direction was nice, but "divisive." On the other hand, groups like the Association of American Law Schools are already using Hall's ideas in their meeting agendas.

Hall says, ''I'm not arguing for spirituality as a hammer, I'm arguing for it as a mirror, as something that allows us to look at ourselves to see if we are really achieving those highest ideals."

If the idea is to restore ethics and compassion to the legal profession, he might want to consider the hammer.

What do you think, KJ?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Mexico Calls Georgia and Arizona A Bunch of Haters

by tee bee

And it's all about the money, so you know it's true.

The Mexican government has denounced bills in Georgia and Arizona that would tack a surcharge on wire transfers from illegal immigrants, instructing its consulates to consider ''legal actions'' should the proposals become law.

The Mexican Foreign Relations Department's statement is the latest the country has lodged against legislation it deems ``discriminatory toward people of Hispanic origin in general, and Mexican nationality in particular.''

Mexico's Consul in Atlanta, Remedios Gomez-Arnau, said she has spoken to Georgia legislators about the impact the proposed legislation would have on Mexican immigrants -- legal and illegal.

''The Mexican government is very respectful of the legislative process, but that doesn't mean it doesn't follow it and promote dialogue,'' she said.

Mexico's basic stance is that illegal immigration wouldn't be the problem it is if the United States didn't have a strong demand for workers and if more visas existed for the kind of jobs -- in construction, agriculture, hospitality -- that illegal immigrants tend to fill.

So you can see that it's our own dollar-lovin' Mexican-hating fault.

Now go hug your maid, and give her some money to send the folks at home who haven't already snuck across the border and are living in your garage.

Seriously, it's called the Illegal Immigrant Fee Act. If we're dealing with illegal aliens, they need to be processed to determine their status and deport them if necessary, not penalized for banking arrangements.

Face it - taxing them is the method of soft bigotry designed to recoup healthcare and education costs presumably created by untaxed alien workers, and it requires some type of customer profiling by bottom-level employees. This renders it useless unless the teller or 7-11 clerk doesn't like the look or accent of the person they're helping.

Thursday, March 02, 2006


This redistricting cases are so interesting. I think the constitutional implications to drawing this district are . . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

And We Thought the Dutch Were Thrifty

by tee bee

Who turns soda cans or bottles in for the refund anymore?

The Belgians do, and they'll drive a few miles to get a better price for them.

Thrifty Belgians are causing a headache for Dutch supermarkets by gathering large numbers of plastic Coca Cola bottles and bringing them across the border to the Netherlands to collect the deposit, Dutch media reported Tuesday.

The scheme takes advantage of a recent move by Coke's Dutch arm to introduce new bottles that are identical to the ones used in Belgium - but the Dutch bottles carry a euro0.25 (US$0.30) deposit.

And in a bit of spin that oddly sounds like reverse-marketing, Coke bothers to respond:

While the Netherlands' NOS television reported that Belgians were bringing bottles across the border in "massive" numbers, a Coke spokeswoman downplayed the story.

"There are incidents, but I probably wouldn't use the word 'massive'," Marte van Esser said.

So you're saying that Belgians don't drink that much Coke, or that not so many of them are nutty about the return price? Because the latter answer doesn't sound right, if this is in the news...

The most interesting part is that Coke is trying to break out of a long price war in the Netherlands that had them selling for bargain-soda prices. Their response is to sex up the bottle and raise the price 30%?

Coke needs new marketing blood.