Ask Oleg, Featuring A Former European
Going all the way back to Scrappleface days, a former european has made us think and laugh. He has portrayed many heads of state, from Chirac to Mao.
He brought that great sense of humor with him from behind the European Iron Curtain, and he carries the chip of freedom on his shoulder. He recently posted a comment of his new character, Ask Oleg. Without further ado, I give you the newest reality TV show from the KGB, Ask Oleg:
(cue cheesy game show music)
Velcome peoples of world to most popular show of North Sverdlovsk, Ask Oleg! Ya, here is Oleg. What is your problems?
Caller 1: Oleg, why is mommy a democrat?
Oleg: Mommy is democrat because is petty bourgeois Menshevik who fears burning Red Truth of Bolshevik message. Mommy is useful idiot who will be purged when Revolution comes. Is nyext caller.
Caller 2: Oleg, why does Heather two mommies have?
Oleg: Is because of decadence of West. Before collapsing into ashheap of history, decadent capitalist imperialists seek to eliminate virile New Soviet Man and stop from producing new Soviet Party Heros for next generation. Rosie O'Donnell will definitely be purged when Revolution comes. Is nyext caller.
Oleg Taktarov, center, Russian figher in Ultimate Fighting Championship.
No word on whether he is the same Ask Oleg, but you don't want to fight him.
Caller 3: Oleg, have you considered to be Democratic National Committee Chairman?
Oleg: Bozhemoi, Howard Dean! I am many times telling you to quit calling show! I spit on your request! Ptooie! Call you one more time and will I personally line you up against wall and start purges early! I tell you many times, Revolution will not come from Pterodactyl screeching, but from guns and gulags. Lack you proper Socialistic Ardor to bring the Revolution.That's all time have for Ask Oleg.
Tune in tomorrow when Oleg talks to Hillary Clinton. Does she have balls to slaughter 30 million American Kulaks on her bloody rise to Party Chairmanship? Oleg thinks yes.
(more cheesy game show music)
I smell an Emmy.