Are you a PERV? You should be.
Samantha Burns has started a new organization for People for the Ethical Rights of Vegetables.
This is not some idle organization. It is on the front lines protecting veggies from the human oppressors.
As our goal is to ignore the welfare of all people and fellow members of society, and to instead focus on protecting the poor, innocent flora, I think we should donate to the vegetable right's terrorist group, Alfalfa.
Go get your membership card today.