News Roundup Tuesday

I don't know about you, but I find that the news is not inspiring me. So here is the best I can do right now -- one liners.

Don't let the cell door hit you in the wheelchair!

"C'mon honey, it is for your own mental health, and more natural than Paxil!"

It tastes like crap and doesn't get you high. It should be a big hit.

Nice buns.

Found! Scout's honor.

Sold out again by the gutless Republicans.

Rapper's delight -- NBA walk out averted.