Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Merry Christmas

Yeah, I've been absent doing my non-virtual job these last 6 months or so I've hardly posted a thing. So let me give everyone so inclined a belated

Merry Christmas!!

If you aren't inclined to celebrate Christmas because you are a practicing Jew, then a belated Happy Hannuka! No hard feelings on my part.

If you celebrate Kwanzaa or Winter Solstice, or some other crap, well, don't bother me with that crap. I don't recognize holidays created in the late 1960's as a political statement or based on astrological BS.

Also, let me go ahead and say

Happy New Year!!

Yeah, I know there may be Chinese people or people who haven't converted to the Gregorian calendar yet that may be offended by my western yearism attitude, and to you I say, don't bother me with that crap. I'm willing to get drunk on your new years day, also.

In other news, The Cheese offers its condolences to our most recently deceased President, Gerald Ford. I hardly knew you. No, really. I hardly knew him. I was like in elementary school during his reign. I was more concerned with the outcome of the last kick ball game.

And finally, a stress reliever. Take batting practice on those annoyingly popular penguins. Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Atlanta = Den Of Ursine Iniquity?

Coincidence???? We think not. Consider the evidence.

Item One: proprietor of little "l" libertarian Blog disappears for a protracted period of time.

Item Two: Seamy stories begin to filter out of the Hotlanta Metropolitan Area. Baby pandas photographed stretched out flat on their bellies, so inebriated they can barely walk:

Zoo Atlanta’s 99-day-old giant panda cub rose on four shaky legs Thursday morning and took a few tentative steps — a first for the youngster.

She wobbled like a drunk in a windstorm, but there was no mistaking her intentions: She’s ready to move on her own, nearly in time for her naming ceremony.

Disgraceful. The poor thing doesn't even have a proper name yet and she's already hitting the sauce. And with a start like this, is it any surprise she's confused?

Children sang and performers put on a lively dance Friday as Zoo Atlanta unveiled the name of the nation's newest panda cub - Mei Lan, a 12-pound ball of adorableness too young to attend the hoopla.

Chengdu Director Zhang Zhihe said Mei Lan, pronounced "may-lan," has male overtones, a gift Chinese parents bestow on female children whom they want to step outside traditional roles for women.

Now wait just one cotton-picking minute... I thought Atlanta was a family town? But it gets worse:

Lun Lun [the mother] was inseminated in March through a new process that aims to get a nearly pure ... sample from a male panda using massage, zoo officials said.

O-kay... we are not going to think about that one too hard.

Just what is going on down there, anyway?

"Little Peach" indeed....