Free Joe Lieberman

Mein Gott Im Himmler!

When I arose from the marital bed this morning, I had to close my window to shut out the crunching of hob-nailed boots from Der Fuhrer's UberUnterReichsTroopers . You know -- the ones who've been goose-stepping all over the Joooooo-detenLand ever since our fearless leader's KrystallNacht speech.

I agree with the Professym 1000%:

A true leader who cares about the American People would be just as anxious to learn the truth as democrats are. He’d want to know exactly how he falsified intelligence in order to justify an illegal war for oil, and how his failed policies led to the hopeless quagmire that Iraq has become. He’d demand to know if he used his close ties with the Bin Laden family to carry out the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and if not, why he simply allowed them to happen while he read a book to a goat. Most importantly, he’d present Senate Democrats and Al Zarqawi his plans for an immediate withdrawl from Iraq, in a typewritten play manuscript with detailed stage directions and sound effects cues. But rather than cooperate fully with Democrats like a moderate Republican would, the extremist Shrub has done nothing but defend himself since the day he stole the office.

And thereby do we know his guilt - after all, if Herr W hasn't done anything wrong, why should he feel the need to defend himself? Res ipsa loquitur, I always say.

But it's not enough for The Twig to have his jack-booted thugs all over the greater DC metropolitan area. Now the duplicitous bastard has used lethal Pentagon mind-control rays to seize control of poor Joe Lieberman:

It is no surprise to my colleagues that I strongly supported the war in Iraq. I was privileged to be the Democratic cosponsor, with the Senator from Virginia, of the authorizing resolution which received overwhelming bipartisan support. As I look back on it and as I follow the debates about prewar intelligence, I have no regrets about having sponsored and supported that resolution because of all the other reasons we had in our national security interest to remove Saddam Hussein from power – a brutal, murdering dictator, an aggressive invader of his neighbors, a supporter of terrorism, a hater of the United States of America. He was, for us, a ticking time bomb that, if we did not remove him, I am convinced would have blown up, metaphorically speaking, in America's face.

I am grateful to the American military for the extraordinary bravery and brilliance of their campaign to remove Saddam Hussein. I know we are safer as a nation, and to say the obvious that the Iraqi people are freer as a people, and the Middle East has a chance for a new day and stability with Saddam Hussein gone.

We will come to another day to debate the past of prewar intelligence. But let me say briefly the questions raised in our time are important. The international intelligence community believed Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. Probably most significant, and I guess historically puzzling, is that Saddam Hussein acted in a way to send a message that he had a program of weapons of mass destruction. He would not, in response to one of the 17 U.N. Security Council resolutions that he violated, declare he had eliminated the inventory of weapons of mass destruction that he reported to the U.N. after the end of the gulf war in 1991.

Oh! Stop! Stop already! Can anything be more pitiful than the spectacle of a man broken on the wheel of a fascist mind control regime? I mean, just because these people vowed to wipe Israel off the face of the planet - just because they refuse to disarm in the face of 12 years of international pressure from the UN - just because they continue to openly fund and train terrorists - is no reason for alarm!

All Senate Democrats like John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, and Harry Reid want is more answers. It is vitally important that even though we've had four investigations into the intelligence leading up to the war, all of which have concluded that there was no manipulation or pressure on the CIA by the White House, they desperately need to REMEMBER why they voted the way they did back then.

Of course there are no do-overs, so if they can prove they were misled, it wouldn't change a single thing about our present situation. Nothing would get better, as a result of this insistence on more answers.

The President would, of course, have to be impeached. Think of the positive effect that would have on the nation, on the troops over in the Gulf and in Afghanistan, and above all, think of the immense morale boost for Al Jazeera and al Qaeda of merely having an impeachment trial, regardless of the outcome! The distraction factor alone would be a priceless gift to the enemy!

And if, by some miracle, it were proved that there were malfeasance and the Shrub were removed from office, and suppose Cheney fell with him, that would leave.... who in command? Dennis Hastert? Now there's a net positive for the nation. It's easy to see that Senators Kerry, Kennedy, and Reid have only the nation's welfare at heart. And what of Iraq?

As Senator Levin said, no matter what anyone thinks about why we got into the war and whether we should have been in there, it is hard to find anybody around the Senate – I have not heard anybody – who does not want us to successfully complete our mission there. I feel that deeply.

If we withdraw prematurely from Iraq, there will be civil war, and there is a great probability that others in the neighborhood will come in. The Iranians will be tempted to come in on the side of the Shia Muslims in the south. The Turks will be tempted to come in against the Kurds in the north. The other Sunni nations, such as the Saudis and the Jordanians, will be sorely tempted, if not to come in at least to aggressively support the Sunni Muslim population. There will be instability in the Middle East, and the hope of creating a different model for a better life in the Middle East in this historic center of the Arab world, Iraq, will be gone.

If we successfully complete our mission, we will have left a country that is self-governing with an open economy, with an opportunity for the people of Iraq to do what they clearly want to do, which is to live a better life, to get a job, to have their kids get a decent education, to live a better life. There seems to be broad consensus on that, and yet the partisanship that characterizes our time here gets in the way of realizing those broadly expressed and shared goals.

Even with that tinfoil hat on his head, Senator Lieberman is starting to made some sense. I'm going to have to have my BioShields checked.

I'm afraid the Pentagon Death Rays are getting through my defenses.

So exactly what do Senate Democrats hope to accomplish with their "Bush Lied" campaign? Ostensibly, the only reason for making an accusation like that is that one hopes to be believed. If these Senators persuade enough of the right people to believe them, the only two possible logical outcomes are these:

1. Impeachment
2. Withdrawal from Iraq

These are both outcomes they have publicly retreated from. So the question remains, what do they hope to accomplish?

Sadly, we will probably never know. The BushReich's UberUnterReichsTroopers will no doubt be planting rose bushes over their rapidly-cooling corpses in no time flat. You remember what happened to Walter Pincus and Matt Cooper when they squealed in the Plame matter.

John Ashcroft's Amerikkka marches grimly on.