Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Future Headlines

I have had fun in the past with silly sounding headlines. Now is the time to predict our country's (and the world's) future news headlines. How pessimistic, or optimistic, are you?

The year is 2030, twenty-five years in the future. What are the headlines?

Some ideas:

European-americans still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2032.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches; average sentence for first offenses now 2 years, 6 months.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

The floor is open.

6 Comments:

At 3:15 PM, Blogger tee bee said...

"Fetus Created Via Ancient Ritual Shocks Doctors: Conception By Sex Thought To Be Myth."

"First Cuban To Leave Country Legally Fetches $5 In Open Market. In Other News, Castro Appointed President for Afterlife."

"Fat People Respond to Study: 'Yes, but How Much Diet and Exercise?' "

 
At 3:34 PM, Blogger spd rdr said...

Jury Deliberations Continue In Saddam Trial.

U.N. Condemns As Too Slow Israeli Pullout of Tel Aviv, Haifa, Netanya, Nazareth, Hadera, Afula, Tiberias, Herzliyya, Yafo, Rishon le Zion, Ramia, Ashdod, Ashqeion, Akko, and Qiryat Gat.

Yankees Fail to Make Playoffs for 25th Straight Year

Congress Passes 271.3 Gazillion Dollar Highway Bill; Last Puddle in Alaska to Be Spanned By Billion Dollar Bike Overpass

Senator Robert Byrd Said To BE Pondering Re-election Bid

Mulsims Offended By Corn Flake That Looks Like Symbol For Allah - Demand Beheadings at Kellogg

Kerry's Service Records Unsealed By Judge: Medical Records Reveal Sex Change Operation

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger spd rdr said...

At Last! KJ Posts "10 Worst Legal Decisions of All Time!" spd rdr Spins in Grave!

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger KJ said...

Funny.

10 Worst will come out next month probably. Just in time for the first oral arguments.

It would be nice if I had 10 suggestions.

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger spd rdr said...

I wait with baited breath. :-)

 
At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*Air Bus Buys out Boeing

 

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