Monday, September 19, 2005

Back From Seattle

Yes, I'm back from Seattle. I'm sure you can't wait for me to get busy blogging again. I know I make a difference in so many lives. Sadly, I returned to an office that looked neglected for over a week. I have people that want things, like documents and reports. I have appointments later in the week that require preparation. In short, I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger (my appologies to all handi-capable people who took offense at that remark). For these reasons, tee bee has an open invitation to continue entertaining my eight readers for the rest of the week.
****************************************************************

Some people have e-mailed me and asked for pictures from my trip. Here is a picture of me sunning myself on some rocks near the Pacific Ocean.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
********************************************************************************
I could have some substantive posts, though I would like to take the time necessary to comment appropriately. But since I don't have that time, I'll have to hit and run a few things.

For example, if you are having trouble reading a post this long, you are probably one of the many wussified adults in need of pharmacutical drugs. Now that they have our kids hooked in unbelievable numbers, they are going after the gullible adults.
********************************************************************************
George Will recently opined on poverty and Katrina, and offered a poverty cure I have mentioned in the past (though perhaps as a commentor and thus not at The Cheese). Will writes, speaking about Obama:


He might, however, care to note three not-at-all recondite rules for avoiding poverty: graduate from high school, don't have a baby until you are married, don't marry while you are a teenager. Among people who obey those rules, poverty is minimal.
Why are those three rules so hard to sell to a certain segment of the American people?
********************************************************************************
Are you in trouble? Try not to attrack attention to yourself. Here is a good example (h/t CKCat).

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
********************************************************************************
Target Centermass hosted last weeks Carnival of Liberty XI, from the blog group Life Liberty Property. Go visit. Don't be a commie.
********************************************************************************
Looking for a great toy idea for that next kiddie birthday party?

Try the Airport Security Playmobil.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Groping accessaries sold seperately.
********************************************************************************

Second best e-mailed I received in last week:

Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton arrive at heaven at the same time. They are taken before God, who is seated in all his glory on the throne of heaven.

God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"

Al replies, "Well, I believe I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve. And I've come to understand that now."

God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, very good. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"

Bill replies, "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but I've never held a grudgeagainst my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me."

God thinks for a second and says, "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right."

God then addresses Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"

"I believe you're in my chair."
********************************************************************************
Finally, the best e-mail I received last week tries to answer the question about one's political leanings.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Libertarians?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obsenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40 with a 9 shot clip, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or depressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Do I have a cell phone so I could call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Libertarian's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points?"

9 Comments:

At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:45 PM, Anonymous one armed paper hanger said...

Hey watchit body! ;)

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger tee bee said...

Tryin' to lure KJ with talk of structured settlements, eh? It won't work, you know. He only likes online pr0n. And gambling. And gun jokes.

Is that you in the front, or in the back of the beach picture, KJ? And where are Mrs. KJ and little KJita? I don't think they are in the picture. Maybe they are taking the picture.

 
At 10:02 PM, Anonymous Joatmoaf said...

Nine, 9 readers.
You corrected me once when I recognised "all 2" of my readers, so fair is fair;)

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger tee bee said...

And they were a very well-behaved court of nine. Except for Breyer, who kept pulling his robe over his head and dancing on the tables. It's always the quiet ones.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger KJ said...

tee, Mrs. KJ actually did take the first picture.

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger tee bee said...

Nice. But maybe you should wear a suit next time.

 
At 4:25 AM, Blogger Cassandra said...

Oooh... good one :)

I like her, KJ.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger KJ said...

Are you kidding? I was on vacation that day.

Cass, no encouraging the rabble rousers. Things could get out of hand.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home