Monday, August 15, 2005

Dumbass Of The Week

I haven't recognized societies non-political dumbasses recently. Let's focus on money this week.

Let's start in Indiana. What does it take to make a good counterfeiter? How about a clue.

A keen employee at a downtown bar helped police link a Lafayette man with several counterfeit bills being passed in town.

The dead giveaway that the money was fake? Abraham Lincoln's face, instead of Benjamin Franklin's, reflected on the side of a $100 bill.

The police tried to be very kind to the man and not hurt his feelings.

"The watermark on the bills don't correspond with the correct president's face," said Jeff Rooze of the Lafayette Police Department, a financial crimes detective who analyzed the money. "They all have Abe Lincoln's watermark, which is on the $5 bill."

The bills also had red and blue dots all over the paper, which is consistent with documents printed with an inkjet printer, Rooze said. Security features -- including color shifting ink in the lower right-hand corner and the correct security thread -- also were missing.

Despite those inconsistencies, Rooze said the bills were excellent fakes.

Yeah. Other than bad ink, not using the right colors, not having a watermark, not using paper with a security thread, and not having the right dude's picture on the front, they were excellent. This cop must be a public school teacher!

We now move to Pennsylvania were we have a bank robber with a purpose. He got away with the money and an ink bomb. Hey - where's my wallet?
Police Lt. Tom Thompson said a man walked into the bank wearing a white T-shirt, blue jeans and sunglasses, and handed the teller a note from his wallet demanding money.
So far, everything is going according to plan.
When the teller asked what she should do with the money, the man handed her a white pillowcase . . . . The man took the pillowcase and left, authorities said.

Police set up checkpoints to search for the suspect but had to look no further than the bank counter, where the suspect's wallet was found with his identification inside.

Not surprisingly, he was arrested leaving Momma's house.


At 1:17 PM, Blogger Brad Warbiany said...

That's disappointing... I just hope that Lafayette man wasn't a Purdue grad. I expect better criminals to be produced by my alma mater...

At 1:58 PM, Blogger KJ said...

I think even a Purdue liberal arts (i.e., a Mrs. major) major could do better than that Brad.


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