The Kids Are All Right

Everything is "for the children" nowadays. Don't teach the value of seran wrap for butt love to junior high students. For the children. Don't smoke. For the children. Don't shoot children. For the children. Will it never end!

Well, here are stories that show just how all right the children are.

Does A Fish Called Wanda Come To Mind?

A 14-year-old boy was shot and critically injured by police in Tucson, Ariz., after leading officers on a 15-mile chase in a stolen bulldozer, according to reports.

The unidentified teen was fired on when he drove the bulldozer toward several police cars. An officer said officers thought the boy was going to run over the vehicles during the pursuit.

As the bulldozer approached, don't you think they just could have pushed the cars out of the way?

I Never Thought It Surprising To Find Crack In A Diaper.

The bulge in a baby's diaper wasn't what you might think. Deputies in McMinn County, Tenn., allege they found crack cocaine and pot inside the diaper of Aisha Carter's 3-month-old son.

Deputy Ken Pruitt pulled Carter over for a traffic stop. He said he noticed a large bulge in the front of the baby's diaper. A sheriff's report said the deputy found about a half ounce of marijuana and 70 grams of crack cocaine in the diaper.

Carter has been released on bond, while the baby was placed in the care of his grandma.

Oh, great. Grandma. Because she has such a great proven track record?

Did You Bring Enough Candy So Everyone Can Lick Your Toes?

I can't make this stuff up. I'll let the story tell the, uh, story.

A mother in Georgia is accusing a teacher at her son's elementary school of having him lick her toes in exchange for some candy, according to Local 6 News. Denise Strozier said her son was given candy after he licked the toes of his fourth grade teacher at Temple Elementary in Carroll County.

Strozier said she learned about the alleged toe licking incident after reading handwritten messages in her son's yearbook.

The teacher allegedly wrote, "don't lick anyone else's toes" in the boy's yearbook.
Strozier said her son told her he was forced to lick his teacher's toes after the teacher asked him to come look at them.

"As he went to look at her toes, two other students, I just found this out, grabbed him and put his hands behind his back and pushed him to the floor," Strozier said. "And he ended up licking her toes and she didn't stop it."

The Carroll County Sheriff's Department was asked to investigate the incident and have questioned the teacher, Jodi Kilpatrick, according to a report.

Strozier says so far the school has only offered her a new yearbook.

"She was an adult," Strozier said. "She was the teacher. And not only did she do an injustice to my son by allowing this to happen she did an injustice to all the children that were there."

Is the yearbook a settlement offer? That is playing hardball.

The teacher is expected to be punished. Not because she made the student lick her toes for candy. Rather, it was discovered that she didn't bring enough candy for everyone willing to lick her toes.