Thursday, June 02, 2005

Gay Thursday - 6/2

This week's Gay Thursday* asks, what can bartenders tell us about people based on their drink of choice. I was e-mailed this description, so I don't have a link. Enjoy.

Bartender's Psychology

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results -

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ---- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut -

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

The Best Beer: His name is Pile On. He will have no problem scoring tonight.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay.

* Gay: 1 a : happily excited : MERRY b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits 2 a : BRIGHT, LIVELY b : brilliant in color


At 10:53 AM, Blogger spd rdr said...

His name is Pile On. He will have no problem scoring tonight.
Yeah, in between diaper changes and bottle feedings, P.O.'s a regular Cassanova.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger Pile OnĀ® said...

Heh, funny thing, I get most of my action these days at 3 am. Quiet time.

I agree with most of this except for the blender drinks. Even that is correct if you exclude margaritas, the lime ones, if they want peach or strawberry see the original definition.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Jehane said...

This is funny, except that I order all sorts of different things at bars, depending on my mood. And I was the same way when I was single (and unfortunately underaged with a very good fake ID, but then I never got carded anyway).

I love the White Zin thing - I have a friend (actually the friend of a good friend) who *always* orders White Zin. I can't wait to tell my best friend. What a hoot - we're always saying she's easy.



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