Thursday, May 19, 2005

Who Gets Your Vote?

I have heard it said that is not much difference between Republicans and Democrats. Who? Well, I have said it. On issues like spending, there really isn't anymore. The Republicans in Congress and spending like drunken college students with Mommy's credit card. Don't get me wrong -- the Democrats would be worse, and they would tax me for it. It is disappointing nonetheless. But, there is a difference between the parties. I have looked into it. Based on voting trend surveys I have read and the issues supported by the predominate or loudest voices of each party, I wish to identity the difference once and for all. At least for now.

The Democratic Party is the party of ...

Career Welfare Recipients
The Trust Fund Wealthy
High school drop outs and Ph. D.'s in English, Theater and other high paying subjects
Atheists and haters of the religious
Non-religious Jews
Islamic Fundamentalists
Race Warlords
Convicted Felons
The Homeless (people who won't take care of themselves)
Mob run union goons
People who profit from the killing of unborn babies
Hippies
Pacifists
Rock musicians
Druggies (see, Rock musicians)
Hollywood
The emotional and idealism driven
PETA
People who organize protests with stupid slogans
Commies and socialists

The Republican Party is the party of ...

Christian and Jewish fundamentalists
Large corporate executives who make millions but employ many thousands
Wealthy who got there working
bigots
Unapologetic SUV drivers
"If you don't like American, then go to Russia dernit!" people
If your face abortion foes
Cold hearted bastards who don't realize what their best interests are
Knuckle dragging neanderthals who want TV to be family friendly
Nanny like do gooders who want to stop drug use
Science and technology phobes
Some college and college graduates, and grad students in accounting and economic fields
Cuban hispanics and other Castro haters
Chicken hawks
Military brass and other war time oppressors
People who think you should prove your identity to vote (all about oppression)
Homophobes


So, ask yourself something. Which labels are more accurate? I think the Democratic labels are more accurate. Finally, who would you rather watch your back?

Aside: If only the Libertarian Party was on the right side of the War on Terror.

5 Comments:

At 1:00 PM, Blogger tee bee said...

I was going to ask about the Libertarians, but you mention them in your aside. What about those current media darlings, South Park Republicans? And theocrats after the fundies on the Repub list; also academic fascists on the left under Dems.

I think both lists size up pretty well; it's the natural result of polarized politics, and the lesser-of-two-evils voting patterns in US politics. And I don't think it is the best way - I think people would garner more respect for their viewpoints if there were a few more groups that divide outliers from the two main groups, so they have to define and defend their platforms, and create less pull on the current representatives. But then, I'd also like to see them as unpaid positions that only meet quarterly except in emergency events. Probably unrealistic, but it's all I got.

And for now I'll stick with those cousin' datin' theocrat nationalists, even though they've significantly betrayed the less-government staple of the party's platform.

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger Masked MenaceĀ© said...

Well, the South Park Republicans are essentially just hawkish libertarians (Neo-Libertarian).

It would thrill me to no end if the dems went the way of the whigs and the two major parties were the Republicans and the Neo-Libertarians.

After the election the libertarians had great opportunity to make the national stage if they would just put the drug issue on the back burner and turn away from isolationism completely. Sadly, the Party seems unwilling to accept that those two issues are big losers for them.

 
At 4:47 PM, Blogger KJ said...

I agree MM. The national defense issues are the biggest problem for me, but the drug issue, while I understand the party's position, is just not worth emphasizing in the political debate. You peel an onion from the outside layer. You can't start in the core.

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger Jehane said...

Hey, I got sent a copy of South Park Conservatives to review, so I will be reading that on my little hiatus from blogging. Yee-ha. That and a totally worthless book and I hope to finally finish that Leo Strauss book I keep falling asleep after 14 minutes of (it's riveting, really - I'm just exhausted by 9 or 10 pm if I go to bed, I'm either, well...occupied or I go to sleep within about 20 seconds :)

I will miss you guys.

 
At 2:22 AM, Anonymous Emily Latella said...

Livid Terriers must be quarantined.
Livid Terrierism can be avoided by giving them drugs (aka: parvo, rabies shots)
People who refuse to do so are aiding, abetting & harboring Terrierists!!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home