Identify Your God

I read this in the Best of the Web and thought it interesting.

Children of a Lesser God

A Baylor University study "found that Americans hold four different images of God," London's Times reports:

Nearly a third of Americans, 31.4 per cent, believe in an Authoritarian God, angry at earthly sin and willing to inflict divine retribution--including tsunamis and hurricanes. . . .

At the other end of the scale is the Distant God, seen by 24.4 per cent as a faceless, cosmic force that launched the world but leaves it alone. . . .

The Benevolent God, popular in America's Midwest among mainstream Protestants, Catholics and Jews, is one that sets absolute standards for man, but is also forgiving--engaged but not so angry. Caring for the sick is high on the list of priorities for these 23 per cent of believers. . . .

The Critical God, at 16 per cent, is viewed as the classic bearded old man, judgmental but not going to intervene or punish, and is popular on the East Coast.

That adds up to 94.8%, which leaves some room for other conceptions of God. Here are some we thought of:

Totalitarian God. He is everywhere, and he is watching you.

Multitasking God. Answers prayers by phone, fax and BlackBerry, all at the same time.

Noncommittal God. Loves his children, but isn't "in love" with them.

Isn't this fun? If you can think of other "Gods," send them along and we'll publish a list of the best.

If you send an e-mail to Best of the Web (opinionjournal@wsj.com), please comment on your proposed God. I would like to see them. I will recognize the best "other Gods" if I get enough comments. But given that I've posted once in a month, I doubt I will.

Don't expect anything until after next week. I will try to blog some again after next week.