Teachers In Uproar
The NSA has proposed allowing people to fly with scissors.
That's right. We all know you shouldn't run with scissors, but apparently our Federal Government, whose primary job according to the Constitution is to protect us from all threats to our safety (self imposed or otherwise) and to fund abortions, is saying it is OK to fly with scissors. Naturally, this proposal is opposed by teachers' unions, but I doubt President No Child Left Unstabbed by Scissors cares.
This is no doubt the result of President Bush's long memory and bitterness of being scolded for running with scissors by his teachers. We know he is willing to start a war just because some benevolent dictator that Plato would have approved of tried to kill his father. Now he wants thousands of Americans to be impaled by scissors as they try to land after going over 600 miles per hour.
This is discraceful. I don't know if I can even work today.
What happens when one runs with scissors.