Thursday, August 04, 2005

Kim Jong Il Memorizes Everything -- Better Than Tiger Woods

A recent propoganda machine in North Korea has described the incredible intellectual and other achievements of Kim Jong Il, insane leader of North Korea.

Among the claims:

Kim surprised a group of North Korean officials attending a meeting in 2002 by recalling all their phone numbers "with lightning speed," the site said.

On a day Kim visited a cemetery, he looked around at the tombs and he remembered the achievements, characteristics, tastes and bereaved family members for hundreds of the dead by a quick glance at the names on tombstones, it said.

"All the attendants were surprised at his incredible memory."

It was said that the Great Leader could even remember in which of the many North Korean death labor camps the dead had starved.

With a leader so great, it is important not to allow jealous losers to undermine his greatness.

North Korean propaganda is ripe with the amazing achievements of its Dear Leader. The highly controlled state also closely monitors its citizens to make sure they do not speak out against Kim or challenge his rule.
This Renaissance Man would make poor Thomas Jefferson hang his head in shame.

Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies and accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.

The Web Site said Kim told all workers they should develop their ability to memorize. "The memory of a person gets better when a person uses their brain often," he was quoted as saying.

Interesting. He can memorize all that stuff and hit 11 holes-in-one, but he doesn't know to use a singular pronoun with a singular antecedent noun?

3 Comments:

At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"he remembered the achievements, characteristics, tastes and bereaved family members for hundreds of the dead by a quick glance at the names on tombstones"

I don't doubt this for a minute. He probably put them there.

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger Jane Bellwether said...

Kim surprised a group of North Korean officials attending a meeting in 2002 by recalling all their phone numbers "with lightning speed"

Which frightened them, because Kim had never called them. Ever.

Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies

They left out his hit single, "I'm So Ronery." Do bad propagandists get fired?

 
At 2:26 PM, Blogger KJ said...

Do bad propagandists get fired?

Executed, actually. Then he recalls their personal information for the media.

 

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