Gay Thursday - 8/4

Gay* Thursday

OK, it has been a few weeks since I did a Eurotrash Tuesday or a Gay* Thursday. My Gay* Thursday writer changed schedules and he takes Thursdays off now. Gay* Every Other Wednesday just did not have the same sound. Damn Family Leave Act.

So, I'm stepping in to report on something I have been discussing lately -- Studies.

The newest study, by the SportsPickle, reports as follows:

Study: Gay Children Dislike Playing Smear the Queer

A joint study released today by the National Recess Board, the Gym Teacher Association of America, and GLAAD found that homosexual children dislike playing smear the queer by an almost 3-to-1 margin.

The findings come after a 10-year study looked at more than 50,000 grade school children across the country and studied their feelings towards the popular schoolyard game in which one child is arbitrarily deemed the “queer,” and then is repeatedly tackled, thrown to the ground or pelted with kick balls depending on local rules. The study was funded by a $40 million federal grant.

“The research proves what many have long suspected – gay children feel excluded, even targeted, by their classmates from smear the queer,” said Mary Levine, president of the National Recess Board. “What some see as a harmless child’s game is really a societal mechanism to discriminate against homosexuals at an early age. The queer smearing needs to stop in this country immediately.”

This was not surprising to many researchers. Gay boys were most likely to dislike the game. A surprise in the research developed, however, when a gender discrepancy was discovered.

Seventy-four percent of gay children surveyed said that they feel either “sad,” “different,” or “disliked” when their peers play smear the queer. [G]ay or effeminate boys [were] deemed the “queer” more than 90 percent of the time.

“The other kids always smear me. I hate that game,” said an eight-year old gay boy from Nebraska in the report. “Everyone makes me the queer ‘cause they say I run weird and because I design stylish clothing for my G.I. Joes during lunch.”
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Of the 26 percent of homosexual children who said they “enjoyed” smear the queer, 80 percent were girls, a segment the study found is rarely made the “queer” in the game and, in fact, often hands out a disproportionate amount of the beatings.

“Of those who do the smearing of the queer, most were extremely homophobic straight boys, but we also found many gay girls, who in grade school often seem to be quite brawny, did heavy amounts of queer smearing,” said Larry Childs of GLAAD.

Then, of course, there were some who were happy to be targets of the game.

The other 20 percent of those who said they “enjoyed” smear the queer were gay boys who claimed they believed the game rightfully punished them for their homosexuality.

“I know from what my dad says sometimes about the people on the TV that I shouldn’t be gay,” said a 7-year old Texas boy. “So when we play smear the queer I always pray that the other kids will beat the queer out of me so I can be a normal boy. But it hasn’t happened yet.”

“My Sunday School teacher told us that being gay is wrong,” said an 11-year old Ohio boy, “so I see smear the queer as God punishing me for not stopping my gayness. And also, I like it because sometimes I can kiss the other boys when they tackle me.”

The public policy issue is more debated. Should the game be stopped? Or encouraged?

Anti-homosexual and faith-based family groups across the country said that the results of the study prove that smear the queer serves a valuable purpose. “Smear the queer is the first line of defense against the scourge of homosexuality,” said Dick Platt, director of the Family Foundation Association. “Who knows how many gay children have been turned back on the straight path by being smeared at an early age.”

Rodney Richards, president of AmeriFam, said, “Of course gay children don’t like smear the queer. It’s because they know that their lifestyle is wrong. If we outlaw the game we’ll have written a free pass for queerdom to overtake this great country.”

Who would have thought that a game like Smear The Queer, a game which should make people feel Gay*, would cause so much sadness. That is not what games are supposed to do. Maybe our playgrounds could come up with a new, gayer game, to entertain our children.

Maybe we can direct their conduct to more productive games and activities. Like playing Smear the Odd or Unusual Kids or Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

* Gay: 1 a : happily excited : MERRY b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits 2 a : BRIGHT, LIVELY b : brilliant in color