The Chick Bible

A new Bible has hit the shelves.

A new edition of the Gospels of the Bible for the first time shows Christ as a woman, named Judith Christ of Nazareth, and God as female. In all other respects, the classic texts of the Gospels remain unchanged.

This new Bible includes: The Parable of the Prodigal Daughter, The Lady's Prayer, and other revised favorite passages. . . .

Well, that explains how Jesus, I mean Judith, was able to feed so many people, a multitude really, with just a little bread and wine. None of us doubt that a good Jewish woman would make what food they had do, now do we. It is also amazing how much preaching Judith completed in just three years, when much of that time would have been in The Red Tent.

Afterthought: When the disciples doubted Judith, did she lay the guilt on heavy? In the red letter version, John, Chapter 20: "Oh, sure Thomas. I cure the lepers. I raise the dead. I rise from the dead. And then I have to come here to feed and clean up after 12 men. And you still doubt me! You're breaking my heart. Blessed are those whom I have not fed and cleaned up after, and they still believe."

Note to God: all in good fun. Please remember, I didn't write The Chick Bible.