Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Sponsored by PETA* and Mao's Little Red Book

This edition of Tuesday's Feelings, brought to you by PETA* and Mao's Little Red Book. Remember, it is not the facts that matter. What matters is how you feel about them.

Disney Serves Fins To Asians

At Disney Hong Kong, Disney refused to stop serving Shark Fin.

Disney officials have rejected appeals from environmentalists who urged Hong Kong Disneyland not to serve shark fin soup when the park opens in September.

Greenpeace and the Worldwide Fund for Nature asked Hong Kong Disneyland to take shark fin soup off the menu after the theme park announced last week the delicacy would be served at wedding banquets and other special events. Environmentalists say millions of sharks are killed each year for their fins, driving many species close to extinction. The fins are hacked off and the fish are dumped back into the sea to die.

But Disney says that while it takes the environment very seriously, the company is equally sensitive to local cultures and the dish is a key part of Chinese banquets. One Hong Kong environmentalist calls Disney's position "mind-boggling."
"Equally sensitive to local cultures." Disney also said it would continue to serve first born daughter stew to families that really wanted their only child to be a male.

Where Did You Dig Up This Recipe?

In another part of China, a man is sentenced to two and half years for digging up a freshly buried female corpse and eating parts of the body. He didn't get away with an insanity plea either.

When asked what crime the man committed, the Chinese official explained: "It isn't illegal to eat dead people. But this is communist country. He should have brought enough for everyone."

Sir, I Need to Swab Your Dog's Ass

In Austria, where the government has been taken over by your local condominium association, murder is not longer the crime of concern. No, the DNA labs will no longer sit around waiting for a rape kit to arrive. Instead, they will test dog poop DNA to catch the owners that don't clean up.


A council member in Vienna proposes a DNA registry for dogs, so their droppings can be tested. People who fail to clean up their dogs' droppings would be fined and charged for the DNA analysis.

Vienna's sidewalks are littered with dog droppings and campaigns to get dog owners to clean up have made little headway. Dog owners already can be fined if they don't pick up after their dogs, but tickets are rarely issued because the pet has to be caught in the act.

It is believed that Ashcroft is 'behind' this.


CSI agents prepare to swab the suspect.



AND IN TODAY'S FOLLOW UP SEGMENT

I reported a few weeks ago that Elephants on a rampage stormed Seoul, South Korea, including invading a restaurant. Well, that restaurant re-opened.
SEOUL (Reuters) - A Seoul eatery that was trampled by elephants is back in business with a new name and a new menu that aims to capitalize on its bout with pachyderm pandemonium.

The restaurant that serves barbecue and other traditional Korean foods was closed for a month for repairs after three elephants rampaged through its plate-glass front. It has just reopened with a new name: "Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been".
Names rejected by the owner included "Eat Here And Be Trampled To Death," "Tusks," and "Good Enough For Abused, Starved Pachyderms, Good Enough For You."

So, how does all this make you feel?

*People Eating Tasty Animals.

5 Comments:

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Pile OnĀ® said...

There is a shortage of sharks?

Maybe they should harvest sharks off the coast of Florida.

 
At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why the helk don't "they" catch the whole friggin shark and serve grilled shark? Shark grilled on the bar-b is QUITE good. The cartilage supposedly has supplemental/health benefits. (I'm not yet convinced). And even the shark teeth could be made into saws to use to cut down the rain forests & others, right? After all, if ELF keeps torching new structures, we'll need to make way for more wood to be *grown*, as well as needing foilage to clean up the air they polluted with all the smoke from their arson jobs!

Back to the JAWS issue--perhaps it's just a quirk of mine---but I prefer biting into a shark rather than vice versa. Grilled shark---the other white meat.

 
At 12:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And one more resourceful thing: Samson used the jawbone of an ass to off a thousand Phillistines.....

Why can't we, in a manner reminiscent of *JenJis* ELF-ALF, use the JAWbones of sharks to fend off envrio-asses to ALSO keep them from spray painting more furcoats? This will save the lives of countless other animals that would be forced to be replacement furs, if there were no intervention in their behalf!

Yes, AAMOF, I have put alot of thought into this!

 
At 1:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just ONE more thing (I fear I'm starting to look like some of the posters at TOB with their umpteen posts in a row...yikes)

As far as puppy butts go---ya gotta admit: that (picture) is a WAY adorable puppy bootie! (~;)

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger KJ said...

This post is to interrupt the string of rocky mtn. lioness posts, so that she may feel free to post again.

 

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