Saturday, May 28, 2005

End Of The School Year

Well, the kids have been counting the minutes, and now the school year is over in most parts of the country. Here is a little end of year school stories for you.

And They Bring The Counselors For The Children

A teacher in Louisiana wrote an essay for his class. In it, he detailed what little monsters they were.

In the essay, the teacher detailed the loud, disobedient behavior of his students on a particular day and how some ridiculed him while others accused him of cheating for a competing class during a spelling bee. The teacher said he was tired because pain from a root canal had kept him awake most of the previous night.

Melissa Parker, whose 9-year-old son is in the unidentified teacher's class at Norbert Rillieux Elementary School, said the essay was distributed to the class last week and was supposed to be returned to the teacher that day.

However, some students brought the essay home.

"I was outraged and I was upset," Parker said. "I'm thinking, you shouldn't be a teacher if you hate kids.

Now, I do not doubt that this teacher may have issues. Or not. Maybe the kids are demon spawn from helk. Why did the teacher's acts make thew news? Because the little brats didn't turn in their assignment like they were supposed to!

Of course, the Mrs. Parker misses the point as well. The teacher doesn't hate kids. He hates YOUR KID because he is a little misbehaving monster.

Let's hope this teacher gets some good rest this summer.

Another Home School Victory

The government schools got their butt handed to them again in the national geography bee.

A home-schooled teenager from Cottonwood, Minn., on Wednesday was declared winner of the 17th annual National Geographic Bee, answering a question about an
obscure river in Panama.

****

The final question was: "Lake Gatún, an artificial lake that constitutes part of the Panama Canal system, was created by damming which river?" The correct answer is the Chagres River.

Cornelius, who won a $25,000 college scholarship and lifetime membership in the National Geographic Society, defeated nine other finalists during the contest, which was moderated by “Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek.

Did you know the answer to that question? A lifetime in the National Geographic Society? What does that go for in the secondary market?

Valedictorian Made A Big Mistake -- He Told The Truth

The stupidity of government school administrations knows no bounds.
Eagleville High School Valedictorian Abe Stoklasa said all he wanted to do was give a memorable speech, but what he thought was funny, school leaders considered offensive. In his speech, Stoklasa planned to say, "You have given us the minimum required attention and education to master any station at any McDonald's anywhere. For that we thank you. Of course, I'm only kidding. Eagleville is a fine institute of higher learning, with superb faculty and staff." He said all of the jokes were simply segues to build up the school with compliments.
Is this a standard speech technique? Of course it is. What is more is that his joke, for most of the students at that school, is probably true. Which is why the school took it so hard I am sure.

But those in attendance at Eagleville's graduation ceremony never heard that second part of Stoklasa's speech because the school's principal asked that the microphone be turned off when he varied from the speech he said he was going to deliver.
Eagleville High School principal Rhonda Holton said there were two sentences the school wanted Stoklasa to change.

"Because it implied that the students did not receive a quality education," Holton said.

Though doth protest too much? Of course the school knows that they can't withhold his diploma for hurting their feelings. School leaders were scheduled to meet with Stoklasa Wednesday morning and give him his diploma at that time.

All right. School is out. Go to the beach. Here are 10 from which to choose.

7 Comments:

At 8:46 PM, Anonymous Rocky Mtn. Lioness said...

....or as my pastor in Tulsa once responded to a guy who had some really LAME complaint about something Pastor Bob said in eof his Sunday a.m. messages (yeeeaars ago): "When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one that gets hit yelps the loudest".

Eagleville had some faculty yelpers, I guess.

That miffs me though that there are NO Colorado beaches listed in the top 10! what's up widdat!?!

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger KJ said...

Colorado didn't make the top ten, but I have a nice beach front cottage in Colorado that made the top 11. Would you like to buy it?

 
At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Rocky Mtn. Lioness said...

KJ,
I'd be interested in checking it out as long as it's not too close to a volcano or any alligator swamps.

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Jehane said...

Best beach I ever went to: down in Currituck NC in high school. We were down there for Labor Day weekend and only saw one other person the entire day, and he was in a pickup.

Where else could you swim and surf for an entire day in complete privacy? I got sunburned in places I never want to be burned again, but what a wonderful day.

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger KJ said...

Sounds like Wrong Turn. Except with a beach.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Jehane said...

Oh for Pete's sake, KJ.

I had to look that one up it was so obscure... wouldn't you know Eliza Dushku was in it. I was going to make an incredibly rude pun on her name but I'm too much of a lady.

sigh...

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger KJ said...

I admit to such a strong preference for Eliza Dushku that I was determined to watch the movie until she died. Wouldn't you know whe would live the entire movie.

Oops, spoiler.

 

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