Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Bush Names Man To Replace Woman. Sandra Day Considers Bias Suit.

President Bush named John G. Roberts, Jr. to replace Sandra Day O'Connor to the SCOTUS. I don't know much about him, except that he is a respected appellate attorney (which means he is a book worm who can't try a case) and a former Rehnquist clerk, and of course a white, Christian religious extremist.

The question now for everyone: is he a conservative? I have made an in depth analysis, and based on a series of certain facts, I have reached a conclusion. Let's look at the best evidence we have. His judicial opinions? No, his name.

John: Means "Johova is merciful." Of Jewish origin, best known as a Biblical, Christian name. Not flashy. And it is the book of the Bible upon which "The Passion of the Christ" was based. How much more religious right could his first name be? Maybe if he was named "Jesus," but then he would be hispanic.

G.: Use of middle initial is very traditional. Not an unusual, liberal sounding middle initial letter, like a Q or an X would be. Could stand for "God," but more likely a family name, which means, of course, family values.

Roberts: It doesn't get more traditional than this. It is a Teutonic Personal name of great antiquity and is frequently found in Domesday Book as Robertus. The name is associated with Roberts' Rules of Order, which is the traditional method for running a meeting. I looked, and thus far no "Point of Order" under Roberts' Rules has ever recognized a right of privacy or a penumbra.

Jr.: Used to distinguish the son from the father of the same name. Thus, he was named after his father, which is indicative of a somewhat traditional thinking family. It is also a common way to name kids in lower class society, however, which add that "working class" feeling to his name. In fact, it sounds pretty Red State redneck knuckle dragging Republikkkan all the way.

Is this name approach an appropriate indicator? Of course. Let's think for a second about a few well known liberals, one a Court member, one a hopeful. Let's consider, e.g., Mr. I'd Give My Left Nut to be on the Court, Law professor Lawrenece Tribe. His last name all but proclaims his it takes a villiage, socialistic way of thinking. Then there is Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Her first name establishes her feminist creditials - the only woman in the Bible with a book named after her. And she uses three names, two of which are quite odd and liberal sounding. A definite no-no for any traditional, conservative woman.

Yep, this nominee looks pretty conservative.

7 Comments:

At 10:41 PM, Blogger spd rdr said...

Brilliant breakdown of Judge Roberts' bona fides. Of course, as none of us are familiar with any of his decisions, he is the perfect candidate for a Court appointment for life. I mean, life is full of chances right? Right?

 
At 11:13 PM, Blogger KJ said...

I work with the evidence I'm given. What do you want me to do? Look for it, interview people and take depositions?

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger Pile OnĀ® said...

I think his eyes look a little bit sinister.

I like that.

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger Jehane said...

He looks to me like just another white, patriarchal fascist hegemonist oppressor determined to keep the Sisterhood down while marginalizing and disrespecting people of color and the gay/lesbian/trangendered/other.

But what else is new for the BushReich? I'm going back to my ashram to ovulate in mournful silence.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Masked MenaceĀ© said...

Sinister eyes, huh?

Could he be the original Dread Pirate Roberts?

 
At 11:16 AM, Anonymous Cricket said...

He is ugly and his mother dresses him funny. He also hates Phrench Phries.
Ask that 12 year old.

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Jehane said...

And he oppresses Southwestern Toads. Probably Midwestern Corked Bats too.

I can't believe KJ didn't warn us on that one.

Beast.

 

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