A Bicycle Race

Not nearly as interesting as a unicycle, and twice as annoying to a guy trying to get to work in the morning, a bicycle has become the symbol of enviro-sports enthusiasts. Apparently, if I take my bike to work, we can end the evil war for oil in Iraq and do other nice things like stop global warming.

Oh, and there is some race in, of all places, France, that I am told I must pay attention to.

Not going to happen. I will be happy if Lance wins. But please, there is a baseball season going on. The SportsPickle sums it up nicely, except it isn't satire to me.

Americans ready to feign interest in one last Tour de France

With the 2005 Tour de France set to begin Saturday as Lance Armstrong seeks his seventh straight victory in his final Tour, Americans say they can find it within themselves to pretend they’re interested in one last bike race.

“I’m planning to go out with Lance,” said Dave Greenberg, a New York attorney. “He’s a fairly significant athlete – especially for a bicycler – so I’ll pay attention to the Tour de France a little bit again. But once it’s over this year I’m done, because I can’t really imagine anything more boring than watching guys ride bikes for 2,000 miles."

“It’s going to be grueling for Lance to compete in the Tour de France, but not as grueling as it will be for me to act as though I give a crap,” said Cheryl Thomas, a San Diego office manager.

“Sure, it would be a good story if he wins again, but he’s already accomplished a lot in his career and now I kind of wish he’d just go away. Nothing against him, of course, but I’d really like to move on to something else now. Those Europeans can keep having their little bike race, as long as I don’t have to go around pretending it actually matters.”