Get Gymkata In DVD
Sleeping on the job has its punishment. You see, I needed your help. One of the most inept, inexplicably bad "sports" movies, actions movies, and general release movies of all time is Gymkata. "What is Gymkata?" you ask. Well, I've talked about this movie before, but here goes.
According to the tag line, it is "The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate." Personally, I'd put my money on Hoyce Gracie everytime. Nonetheless, this movie has the script of a 10 year old, the acting quality of an elementary production of Peter and the Wolf, and the sound effects of a Bugs Bunny Movie. It is unintentional hilarity.
In 1985, Kurt Thomas had just competed and won something in the Olympics. Since it was OK to love your country in 1985, and many Olympians were still amatuers, many Olympic athletes were determined to cross over into money making careers. Thomas decided to pretend to be an actor, and his dream, Gymkata was made.
The plot is certainly unique. Johnathan Cabot (Thomas) is a champion gymnast. In the tiny, yet savage, country of Parmistan, there is a perfect spot for a "star wars" site. For the US to get this site, they must compete in the brutal "Game." No one has won the game in 900 years. That is right. 900 years. So to be prepared, Cabot trains for TWO MONTHS! Cabot, the son of a former operative, must win the game to get the star wars site approved. Cabot must combine his gymnastics skills of the west with fighting secrets of the east and form the absurd: GYMKATA!
So, how does the plot go, you ask? This is the best site to explain it: I-Mockery. I encourage you to read the summary from beginning to end. I know he tells you how the story ends, but it is OK. This is not a movie with the element of surprise. This is not Sixth Sense, trust me.
Where does Gymkata rate in the movie world? Well, it is Maxim's 17th Worst Movie all time. That was generous, actually. I have read other reviews that place it in much worse positions, including the worst sports movie of all time, and the worst movie of all time, but I can't find them on line.
In any event, there was an election being held by Amazon to vote to release this classic movie onto DVD. Here is another place to vote for Gymkata's DVD release. Like a Georgia democrat who still does not have to show ID, I voted often. But had I been on the ball, I could have appealed to my mass body of readers to vote for Gymkata as well. Alas, voting ended July 1, and the winners will be anounced in August.
Don't listen to this guy -- a Gymkata hater. If Gymkata is chosen, add it to your collection.