Taking A Break
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
I have been really busy lately with work and home, but I must admit that my week long silence is not due solely to that. It would be good if I felt like using my typing skills to write as purty as Hedley Lamarr speaks, but I just don't.
I'm not retiring, or quiting, or any of that. I'm just going to go at it a little light right now. I'm not motivated to write. The weather is beautiful, the demands of home, work and other are calling.
In the meantime: watch some Blazing Saddles.
On the subject of Kelo:
Hedley Lamarr: Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me and that property - the rightful owners.
On gun control and substance abuse:
Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it, mister." I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
On race relations:
Lili Von Shtupp: Is it true how zey say zat you people are... gifted?
[Lights go out, sound of zipper opening]
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!
Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let's kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: Nah, too Jewish.
John Kerry's position on the war on terror:
Reverend Johnson: Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.
On men and women:
Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] Here I stand, the goddess of desire / Set men on fire / I have this power. / Morning, noon, and night, it's dwink and dancing / Some quick womancing / And then a shower. / Stage door Johnnies constantly suwwound me / They always hound me, with one wequest. / Who can satisfy their lustful habits? / I'm not a wabbit. / I need some west.
A Little Hymn on the state of middle America:
Church Congregation: [singing] Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion: / Our town is turning into shit. Amen.
On Global Warming:
Lyle: Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen.
[Taggart spots two workers on a hand-cart sinking into quicksand]
Taggart: Oh shit. Quick.
[Lassos the hand-cart and drags it (but not the men) out of the quicksand]
Taggart: Dang that was lucky. Doggone near lost a four hundred dollar handcart.
See you soon.