Dennis Leary's Near Prophesy

Dennis Leary is one of the funniest comedians out there, I think. Of course, now he is busy acting in one of the best TV shows -- Rescue Me. Yes, I realize the show is about a guy that has everything wrong with him, but it is really good.

Anyway, this segment is off his "No Cure For Cancer" consert album:

I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Beegees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, okay! That was the only good thing about the 1980's. We got rid of one of the Beegees. One down, three to go. That's what I say, folks. Yeah! Here's ten bucks! Bring me the head of Barry Mantilow, alright? I wanna drink beer out of his empty head! I wanna have a Barry Mantilow skull keg party at my apartment, ok?! You write the songs, we'll drink the beer out of your head.

We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one f*ck*ng bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God! I want it! God! Jesus! Now we've got twenty-five more years. Yeah, I'm real f*ck*ng happy now, God. I'm wearing a huge happy hat, Jesus Christ!

I mean Stevie Ray Vaughan is dead, and we can't get Jon Bon Jovi in a helicopter. Come on, folks. "Get on that helicopter John. Shut the f*ck up and get on that helicopter! There's a hair dresser in there. Yeah, go ahead in there, yeah yeah."

Why did I mention this?

Bon Jovi almost bit the big one.

An airliner carrying members of Bon Jovi skidded off a runway early Saturday after landing in severe weather.

The Boeing 707 carrying the band and its touring staff overshot the runway at Hamilton International Airport.

A spokeswoman said the 14 passengers and flight crew were arriving from Buffalo, N.Y., where the band played Friday. No one was hurt.

Shows scheduled for Saturday, Monday and Tuesday at Toronto's Air Canada Center were expected to proceed as planned, she said.

Bad news for Toronto, I guess. I wonder if that plane had a hairdresser on it?