Saturday, October 27, 2007

Don't Be A Wuss

Cook your meat in a fire.

Viking style.

While there, check out the 10 manliest video games ever.

But don't blame me if you are offended by this offering.

Foot In Mouth

Does anyone stick his foot in his mouth more often than Sen. Joe Biden? Maybe he should stick to plagerism. All of his original comments typically require his people to issue a clarification.

The latest, in an interview in which Biden criticizes President Bush on education, he then tries to explain why the D.C. has such a poor school system:

"There's less than 1 percent of the population of Iowa that is African American. There is probably less than 4 or 5 percent that are minorities. What is in Washington? So look, it goes back to what you start off with, what you're dealing with," Biden said.

The retraction and re-explanation:

The Biden campaign moved quickly to clarify the senator's remarks in a statement: "This was not a race-based distinction, but a discussion of the problems kids face who don't have the same socio-economic support system (and all that implies -- nutrition, pre K, etc.) entering grade school and the impact of those disadvantages on outcomes."

Fair enough, Senator. Let's correct your quote:

There's less than 1 percent of the population of Iowa that is [don't have the same socio-economic support system (and all that implies -- nutrition, pre K, etc.)]. There is probably less than 4 or 5 percent that are [don't have the same socio-economic support system (and all that implies -- nutrition, pre K, etc.)] What is in Washington? So look, it goes back to what you start off with, what you're dealing with.

Uh, yeah. Iowa has less than 1 percent (and, at the same time, less than 4 or 5 percent) of kids that have some socio-economic disadvantage. That's what you meant.

Biden then picks on Pakistan.

On foreign policy, his area of expertise, he said, "I'm a hell of a lot more worried about Pakistan," which already has nuclear weapons, as opposed to Iran, which is still working on nuclear enrichment, a possible step on the way to developing them. "I wish we'd pay as much attention to Pakistan as the saber rattling we're doing with Iran," Biden said.

I understand why Biden mentioned the threat of Pakistan. He was obviously reaching out to voters from Pakistan's rival, India. After all, Indians are a fast growing demographic in Biden's home state Delaware, at least according to this quote from Biden:

"In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian-Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking."

We are pretty sure you weren't Senator.

Great New Quote


A friend told me about this McCain quote at the office on Friday. I confirmed it on several websites.

Thought I'd share.

It is really a classic.

"Hillary tried to get a million dollars for the Woodstock museum. I understand it was a major cultural and pharmaceutical event. I couldn't attend. I was tied up at the time." - John McCain

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Hot Time In The City

Philadelphia, without a sports champion since Dr. J led the 76ers in 1983, and known for its brotherly love, if you consider throwing batteries as sports teams, booing Mike Schmidt and throwing snow balls at Santa Clause as brotherly love, now must accept losing yet again.

Philadelphia has been voted by Travel and Leisure magazine to have the least attractive people in the country. Ok, technically, it came in 25th on the list of attractiveness. Out of 25. Miami came in first on attractiveness, with San Diego second, though many people think the hottest people live in San Diego.

Philadelphia did pick up the pace on cleanliness (22 of 25) and safety (23 of 25).

A curious one for me: New Orleans ranked as the 2nd friendliest city, well ahead of San Diego. Yet, San Diego seems to have the edge on using sports stadiums for natural disaster evacuations:

Like Hurricane Katrina evacuees two years earlier in New Orleans, thousands of people rousted by natural disaster fled to the NFL stadium here, waiting out the calamity and worrying about their homes.

The similarities ended there, as an almost festive atmosphere reigned at Qualcomm Stadium. Bands belted out rock 'n' roll, lavish buffets served gourmet entrees, and massage therapists helped relieve the stress for those forced to flee their homes because of wildfires.

Not even one report of cannibalism.

Atlanta, which was ranked in the teens in most categories, pulled in a big number 6 on barbecue.
We were robbed.


In other news

Lest we forget, the Clintons have a history that should make one pause in the Democratic primary. It won't though.

Some people smoke because it keeps them skinnier. Not so says another anti-smoking groups' study run through a University (keep in mind that if a study were funded by tobacco and found smoking did cause you to be skinnier, it would be untrustworthy). Smoking mice are smaller and eat less, but they are also less muscular. This is supposed to make you not want to smoke. Like bigger and fat is the same as smaller and fat?

President William J. Clinton is now considering Singapore on his short list of vacation spots.

Chuck Norris has endorsed Mike Huckabee for President. If you do not know who Chuck Norris is, then read this. And pray he doesn't kill you tonight.

Read this. Warning -- Christianity mentioned.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

More Reasons To Privatize Social Security

It obviously is not enough to keep people from coming out of retirement.

Consider the latest group that had to come out of retirement because social security could not pay the bills:

Evander Holyfield

Beautiful Atrocities


And of course, the Ebb & Flow Institute.

Except for Evander, it is great to have you each back.

We will be watching Villainous Company closely. Heating that lake house can't be easy on the checkbook.

Thursday's Thoughts

A woman is cited for disorderly conduct. For yelling profanity. In her own home. At her toilet.

In other news, her boss says that she will not be punished for her run in with the law. On the contrary, she may be promoted for being good for morale.


Not all criminals are idiots. This guy seemed to have a pretty clever gig going.

Gibson was driving a stolen box trailer, taken from Central Food Equipment on Reynolds Road in Lakeland in 2005, deputies said. The trailer had been outfitted with two tanks with a capacity of 3,250 gallons of fuel.

Gibson rigged a trap door in the bottom of the trailer and parked over the underground fuel tanks at gas stations. Deputies said he would drop a hose into the tanks and use marine batteries to pump the gas into the trailer.

He would unload the fuel into larger tanks at his business, Crews Towing, at the Recker Highway property, authorities said. Gibson would sell the fuel at $1.80 a gallon, authorities said.

Who wants to bet he got caught because he was reselling the gas too cheap?


Alabama man finds a better way to get his house cleaned than hiring the nearest illegal alien. He catches a burglar in the act, and makes him clean the house at gun point.

Adrian McKinnon held the suspect -- Tajuan Bullock, 33, of 2963 University Drive -- at gunpoint and told him to sit on the floor until he de­cided what he was going to do, she said.

"We made this man clean up all the mess he made, piles of stuff, he had thrown out of my drawers and cabi­nets onto the floor," she said.

Once police arrived, Bul­lock complained to them about being forced at gun­point to clean up the home.

"This man had the nerve to raise sand about us mak­ing him clean up the mess he made in my house," she said. "The police officer laughed at him when he complained and said anybody else would have shot him dead.

"That made the man shut up."

What a beautiful story. I love it when people get to serve as their own judge and jury.


Why do I send my children to private school, you ask?

A school board on Wednesday approved birth control pills and patches for students at a middle school in Portland, Maine. Condoms were already available.

The sixth through eighth grade students at King Middle School will be able to get the contraceptives at their student health center.

Opponents cited religious and health objections. Supporters said students often can't discuss sexuality with their parents.

Imagine that! A sixth grader being hasseled by his parents over a few birth control pills. These knuckle draggin neanderthal parents just slay me.


And now, for those fast hitting news stories you seek at the beginning of the newscast.

In sports, how do the Colorado Rockies keep winning, you ask? Ask their new player - God.

Today's non-Vick cruelty to animals award goes to some guy in England. Wow. I can't condone it. I mustn't. Won't do it.

In weather, Florida storms destroy a church day care and a beer tent at an Oktoberfest. Oh the humanity! (For either one, I reckon.)

Day (Season) 7 is coming (note the new address). Sometime. The new trailer comes out in Times Square on October 25. Even if Hillary is elected, Jack will protect us.

For Camojack: new 24 cast member Carly Pope:

Yeah, it would have been better if she were holding a beer or riding a motorcycle. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Finally, if you think the Feds are getting soft on punishment, read this legal yarn about Amtrak.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

How Long We Work

I really miss blogging like I used to. Truth is, a 60 plus hour work week protecting the man, two baseball seasons for the oldest (and I'm head coach, which means leaving work at 4pm on game nights), 35 children's birthday parties, and an infant just get in the way of internet surfing. I'm not even reading as much as I used to, and certainly not commenting like I used to.

A lot happened since my last post. Cassandra called it a career, for now, by shutting down the best general purpose blog on the internet, Villainous Company. And all she left us was a small taste of her brilliance. As Johnny Lang once sang, I look out my window, but it's still raining.

On the good news, the Ebb & Flow Institute has turned on the lights again. Pile On may just be campaigning, but his answers to some fast talking interrogation make you realize what a great President he would be.

Of course, I guess we should be thankful for the calm, even flow of Heigh Ho.

Well, I guess I'll talk about sports now.

It's almost too much just to keep up with the Kentucky Wildcat football team, which rocks this year and is currently #7 in the first BSC poll. Sorry about that LSU! NOT!

If you have a Heisman pick, here is your man: Andre Woodson (picture above).

Although no one will believe me, I picked the Rockies to win it all this year (well, I picked them at the beginning of the playoffs -- not in March). Getting to the playoffs by winning 16 of 17 or whatever it was convinced me. Always pick the team on the roll in baseball. I can't say I'm sorry the Mets imploded like a bad cake either. I would have liked my Braves to make it. Maybe next year.

My daughter's t-ball team which I manage much in the same vein as a collie herds cats finished the regular season 8-3-1, tied for the best record in the league. Now for the pressure cooker double elimination playoffs. The trophy size is based on the playoffs only. Oh, and of the 4 games we didn't win, I was unable to be there for 3 of them. Hey, I'm not Crash Davis. Somebody call The Sporting News.

In popular culture, I continue to wonder how Brittney fell so far. And that fall was after Crossroads. What a shame.

In real news, a student was suspended for simply suggesting that college students might should be allowed to carry concealed weapons. Regardless of how you feel about his idea, simply suggesting a change in policy is not a threat, nor is it insane. A case can be made for his position. Yet, to get back into school, he must undergo a psychological evaluation.

Yeah, a psychological evaluation over a political opinion on peacefully carrying concealed weapons. The biggest thought police tyrants occupy many of our colleges and universities. Of course, had he made outrageously untrue scientific claims, called President Bush bad names and called for the elimination of capitalism, he might win a Nobel Peace Prize.

Speaking of which -- what does global warming have to do with world peace? No - really. The Nobel Peace Prize geniuses that gave the award to two of the worst leaders in history (Arafat and Carter) offered an explanation. (See here -- read the second paragraph.) It is so ridiculous, I don't think even a lawyer could say it with a straight face.

I may be guest blogging at EFI as well. Keep checking here and there every so often.