Thursday, December 29, 2005

Another Christmas Story

One of the really minor annoyances of my husband's job is that he is tethered to his office by a cell phone and a Blackberry 24/7. Calls come in at all hours of the day and night - they track him down at the grocery store and the gym on those rare times when he still gets to work out.

But sometimes, as on Christmas Day, we get a call like this one as we were driving on 270. And now that it's on the news, I can share it with you.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

No Greater Gift

The flag never left Jim Cathey.

From the moment his body departed Iraq, the sturdy, heavyweight cotton flag remained nearby, following him from the desert to Dover Air Force Base, Del., where a mortuary affairs team received his body.

According to the Department of Defense, Cathey was killed in Al Karmah, Iraq, on Aug. 21. Members of his unit later told family members that Cathey was leading the search of an abandoned building when a booby-trapped door exploded. The explosion was so fierce it blew off an arm and leg of the Marine directly behind Cathey. That man, now in recovery, credits his lieutenant with saving his life.

And now Lieutenant James Cathey, USMC has another life to his credit. Enter James Cathey, Junior who reported for duty a few weeks early to comfort to a young war widow in a world suddenly grown cold and lonely:

"I've been kind of afraid that once I had him I would get even more upset about Jim having passed away, but having him has actually helped me," Katherine Cathey, a widow and mother said.

Second Lt. James Cathey, Katherine's husband, died one month after he arrived in Iraq. He was killed instantly when he entered a booby trapped building ahead of the Marines under his command. Two days later, his wife Katherine learned that their baby would be a son.

Before Jim was buried, Katherine Cathey spent the last night with her husband. When she closed his coffin, she placed an ultrasound picture of their baby over his heart.

The baby was not due until Jan. 1. Early in the week before Christmas his mother and grandmother felt something was not right so they went into the hospital.

"They got a heartbeat when they put the monitor on but they weren't sensing that he was moving at all," Katherine said. "I was very scared."

Doctors rushed Katherine into the operating room.

"They all for the most part knew I had lost my husband and I couldn't go through losing the baby too," Katherine said.

After an emergency caesarean section, James Cathey Jr. (Jimmy, for short) arrived strong and healthy. He was an answer to so many prayers.

"I just looked at his face and that's when I started crying because I thought he's so beautiful," Katherine said. "I really feel like Jim has watched over me and the baby a lot."

Wherever the bright sun of heaven shall shine,
His honour and the greatness of his name
Shall be, and make new nations.

- William Shakespeare, King Henry VIII.

Update: I knew I had written about Lieutenant Cathey. I just couldn't remember where, or when. There have been so many good young men.

At any rate, it was here. It seems almost prophetic, now:

...the saddest part of Lt. Cathey's story is that when he left to go to war, he, like so many young men, promised to come back to his young wife and the child she was carrying. They say love is stronger than death. It may well prove so in some larger sense, but the sad fact is that Fate had other plans for him.

The Cindy Sheehans of this world would say, "Well, he is nothing but a fool. What did he expect? War is not healthy for Lieutenants and children and other Living Things." No doubt she thinks it was his recruiter's fault for selling him on those comic-book visions of war-as-glorified-mayhem from which one emerges ten feet tall, unscathed, and covered with medals...

...but morality is not nature. The harsh laws of the world do not stand in abeyance because we foolishly insist on niceties of human conduct. And people come in all varieties; some greater and some lesser. The greater seem able, by some means, to exert some pull or force on those around them. The lesser are pulled along in their wake like flotsam. But in the modern-day world we are all urged to worship the Great God Practicality who goes by her everyday name Mediocrity: it is the worst sort of sin to try to be better or worse than another and the most arrant foolishness to take unnecessary risks. One must be Sensible. And it is this attitude, I think, that I have rebelled against all my life, to my detriment.

It never seems to occur to anyone that perhaps that is precisely the end he did expect? That perhaps he was not naive at all, or only naive at certain times, or perhaps he was simply incapable of being any other way than the way he was. That though being a Glorious Bastard was not really a conscious decision, it was something he would not have renounced, even if he could have changed his nature?

Semper Fidelis, Lieutenant Cathey. And sleep well.

May this nation never lack for such men.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Why are you here?

It's Christmas Eve. It's also Hunakka Eve. Go spend some time with your family and get off the computer.

If you don't have any family, go impose on a neighbor. They don't need to eat all those sweets by themselves anyway.

Have a peaceful and joyous holiday, even if you do spend it with family.

Santa knows if you deserve it.

I'll be back next week.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Washington Democrats Tollerance

What do these car magnets have in common?

These were magnets sold on the Democratic Party website in the state of Washington.

Once a blogger told the story the fish magnet was removed.

I don't think Christians are obligated to vote for one party, or one candidate, versus the other.

I have to wonder though how a Christian could reguarly vote for a party that is openly hostile to fellow believers.

And you know that this is not an isolated example. Just listen to any speech by Howard Dean or a Congressional Democratic leader. Democrats clearly view Christians as the enemy. But any non-repentent sinner is A-OK.

The hypocrite label on the fish is accurate though. Christians are hypocrites. All of them.

A hypocrite is someone who fails to live up to the standard of conduct that he openly professes. All Christians should proclaim that a proper lifestyle is sinless, but all Christians sin. Thus, all Christians are hypocrites. Churches are full of them. Christians at least recognize their hypocrisy.

Who isn't a hypocrite (at least in their eyes)? Someone who doesn't proclaim a standard of conduct, or has a standard of conduct so minimal that he never falls below it. You know -- Washington Democrats.

I'd rather be a hypocrite who tries to live a Christian life and fails than one who does not try.

Some Christmas Advice

Traveling can be a hassle.

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But don't get in too big of a hurry.

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Whenever possible, simplify your life. This is easier for some than others.

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Remember those who have passed on.

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Remind those around you how much they mean to you.

But don't get ridiculous about it.

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Dress accordingly.

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Remember that we all need to party every now and then.

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Don't get bogged down in the problems of other people.

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Enjoy the Christmas music.

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And remember the real heroes.

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And have a Merry Christmas.

Christmas News Rush

With only 4 shopping days to buy KJ something for Christmas, the news has become really slow. Is domestic spying allegations and NFL games with playoff implications all there is to discuss? Well, maybe. But here is what I have found today.

Elton John Ties the Knot With Partner. That headline has so many potential interpretations.

The economy continues to grow like kudzu. I'm sure Bush's advisors are all over letting the American people know.

Tip from KJ, who also plays a lawyer in real life: Don't admit to crimes on your blog.

A leftist Federal judge quits in protest of President Bush's recent actions tapping phone calls from foreign terrorists to U.S. phones. I think we should encourage this sort of thing.

Why do I drive and seldom take public transportation? Because roads don't go on strike.

The groping governor. Too funny, but a non-story.

Finally, on all this "domestic spying, what's good for the goose . . . .

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Super Ape Human Fighters

This may be the funniest story I've read in a while. Drudge linked it, so it must be true.

THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

"According to recently uncovered secret documents . . ." just rings of such absurd sites or news organizations such as the Weekly World News, the Gossiping Ragmuffin and CBS.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

Apparently, Stalin wanted an army modeled after my Uncle KJ. Aunt KJoso wasn't nice, couldn't cook and probably beat him up after we kids left.

Mr Ivanov was highly regarded. He had established his reputation under the Tsar when in 1901 he established the world's first centre for the artificial insemination of racehorses.

Mr Ivanov's ideas were music to the ears of Soviet planners and in 1926 he was dispatched to West Africa with $200,000 to conduct his first experiment in impregnating chimpanzees.

Well, anyway, you know the rest of the story. Russia tried to take over the world with damned dirty apes that ate wafers made of people, but Charleton Heston saved us all when he opened the Red Sea and they all drowned.

Just Don't Root Against Us

I don't mind people who still question whether we did the right thing by going into Iraq. I wondered about it as well, when we did it. Despite the lack of mass quantities of WMD found (I use this term b/c we did find WMD, just not the stockpiles the media insists we should have), I think we made the best decision given the information at the time.

But despite reasonable questioning and discussion to improve our situation, I am so tired of the Left (and that means, primarily, Democrats) rooting against us. The Left did this in Vietnam, and they are doing it again.

The Left's leaders openly proclaim that we will not achieve victory in Iraq. Although they usually qualify it with "I support the troops" they are back to calling our troops baby killers and war criminals, and criticizing their integrity and mission all over again.

The latest example of "rooting for defeat" is not even capable of being hidden by the "I support the troops" recorded message. This week, the House of Representatives took a vote on a resolution to state the House's "Commitment to Achieve Victory In Iraq."

It passed 279-109. Yep. 109 voted "no."

Commie Bernie Sanders and 108 Democrats (no Republicans) voted against the commitment to achieve victory in Iraq. They are willing, yay even happy, to lose. That was their vote. Only 59 Democrats voted in favor of the resolution, so 65% of the Democrats in the House who weren't too chickenshit to vote (32 Dems and 2 Reps voted "Present") are against commiting to achieving victory in a war the U.S. is waging in Iraq.

It is one thing to seek a better policy and disagree. It is another to openly root against your own country, especially when it is on a moral mission with a moral goal.

I am disgusted.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Recidivism -- Easier To Do Than Say When You Are Drunk

What is up with Henry Earl? Who is Henry Earl? He is a Lexington, Kentucky drunk made famous by his own incredible rap sheet and the internet, especially Fark. Well, right now he is free, but that won't last long. This site keeps you up to date.

One Of Hundreds of Henry Earl's Mug Shots. For a more complete collection with comments, go here.

If you'd like to give Henry some cash directly, send your check to:

Detention Center : Henry Earl #337
600 Old Frankfort Circle
Lexington , KY 40510

The sheriff will hold the mail there for him and he can pick it up on his next visit.

The Big Tent

Eric is a thoughtful blogger who is hoping to pull common elements in the libertarian/neo-libertarian movements together to actually accomplishment some change. Thus, his excellent group of bloggers known as the Life Liberty Property group.

He has revised and updated his Big Tent essay. It is worth a stop-see.

His individual blog, Eric's Grumbles Before The Grave, is an excellent blog and should be a regular stop.

His group blog, The Liberty Papers, by oversight is not on my blogroll, but will be added to my blogroll as soon as I get to it.

I wonder why I'm not on its blogroll though.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

'The Behavior at Issue Here'

Reason editor and columnist Jacob Sullum offers some insight on Sam Alito, Supreme Court Justice nominee in "Sam Alito saves Christmas":

Alito deserves credit not so much for facing down the secular humanists as for fearlessly wading into the murky constitutional waters of government-sponsored religious displays. Confronted by questions like how many cartoon characters it takes to balance a baby Jesus, a lesser jurist would have thrown up his hands.

But not Judge Sam Alito. In 1999, as a judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit, Alito was asked to decide whether Jersey City's display of a creche, a menorah, and a Christmas tree outside city hall, which a different 3rd Circuit panel had declared an unconstitutional endorsement of religion, could be saved by adding Kwanzaa ornaments on the tree, a red sled, and plastic Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman statues. Writing for the majority, he concluded that the new, busier exhibit was "indistinguishable in any constitutionally significant respect" from displays the Supreme Court had upheld.

Read the whole thing.

Sullum includes a look at the dissent, which wisely, if ironically, concludes that "the behavior at issue here is incapable of being guided."


7 Shopping Days

You only have 7 shopping days to get KJ something for Christmas. Well? What are you waiting for. Get out there.

Here are some suggestions.

Money, or gift cards.

Lower taxes. Well, for me anyhow.

One of those electronic bug zappers. Those things look so cool. I especially like the fly swatter type.

A Magic 8 Ball.

Cassandra blogging full time again.

The latest PJ O'Rourke book.


A box of cubans, Padrons or Arturo Fuentes.

Single malt scotch (one blend, Johnny Walker Blue, is fine), or one of the good bourbons (Blantons, Makers Mark or Woodford Reserve preferrably).

A tie. A nice tie, not a novelty tie. One I can wear to trial.

A client that doesn't bitch about my very reasonable bill after winning an 8 day, multi-million dollar potential exposure, wrongful death trial.

I'll may add even more later.

Leave me a comment of what you are getting me. I don't want any duplicate gifts. I hate returning stuff.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Lead Story At Happy News

I mentioned a few days ago the web site dedicated to Happy News. I really like this concept.

So if one is looking for doom and gloom, they can go to the LameStream Media and find out how many terrorist attacks there were in Iraq yesterday.

But if one wants to know the happy news, they can still learn about Iraq.

The lead story today: Millions Of Iraqis Vote In Relative Peace.

And don't forget to check out the section of the site dedicated to Heroes.

Watermelons and ANWAR

George Will tackles two topics well in a recent essay. He first addresses the no-brainer that allowing drilling in ANWAR is.

The increase in oil independence is good for the nation. While ANWAR may not be the single answer to this problem, it is a step in the right direction.

Flowing at 1 million barrels a day -- equal to 20 percent of today's domestic oil production -- ANWR oil would almost equal America's daily imports from Saudi Arabia. And it would equal the supply loss that Katrina temporarily caused, and that caused so much histrionic distress among consumers.

There is, frankly, no single act that will solve energy problems in this country. We must do multiple, positive things, and ANWAR is part of equation. And the environmental cost is negligible.

Ice roads and helicopter pads, which will melt each spring, will minimize man's footprint, which will be on a 2,000-acre plot about one-fifth the size of Washington's Dulles Airport.

ANWAR is a desolate (except to man and caribou) wasteland.

Those who have and think it is ``pristine'' must have visited during the 56 days a year when it is without sunlight. They missed the roads, stores, houses, military installations, airstrip and school. They did not miss seeing the trees in area 1002. There are no trees.

It was set aside, originally, for oil exploration. To date, that is the one thing that has not been done.

On a related topic, Will points out the true goal of most "environmentalists." They are, in actuality, displaced Marxists who found a home after the fall of the communist bloc in the environmental movement.

For some people, environmentalism is collectivism in drag. Such people use environmental causes and rhetoric not to change the political climate for the purpose of environmental improvement. Rather, for them, changing the society's politics is the end, and environmental policies are mere means to that end.

This observation is full of clear examples. Environmentalists couple their often questionable environmental concerns with an argument for more government (the right kind of government) control over scarce resources. This supports their goal of increased government intervention in society, as that end supports more collectivism, more regulation and more"equality" in outcomes. These Watermelons (green on the outside, and red on the inside) argue against foreign dependence on oil. Then they argue against using ANWAR to reduce the problem. Then they argue that coal in too dangerous. Then they argue that nuclear power is too dangerous. When their oppositions are done, they offer no solutions except wind tunnels off the coast of the Kennedy compound, which is then stopped by the leading hypocritical Watermelons of all, the Kennedies.

Watermelons oppose modernization in every form. They realize that progress comes from freedom and capitalism, not socilaism. They fight against increased quality of life and support always a step backwards -- for everyone.

Will adds this observation:

Therefore, one of the collectivists' tactics is to produce scarcities, particularly of what makes modern society modern -- the energy requisite for social dynamism and individual autonomy. Hence collectivists use environmentalism to advance a collectivizing energy policy. Focusing on one energy source at a time, they stress the environmental hazards of finding, developing, transporting, manufacturing or using oil, natural gas, coal or nuclear power.

There is no satisfying a position that seeks not to limit but to destroy. Collectivism is the process of destroying. It destroys freedom, innovation, and the spirit of the human soul. It would also destroy the economic machine that makes this country's poor overfed and with a higher quality of life than the average European.

The environment needs to be protected within our system that honors freedom, private property and innovation. The environmental movement is not the place to find that philosophy.

Polock Joke

How does a Polock get from Znin, Poland to London, England?

By bike.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Wussification of America -- Evidence

As you may know, when I'm blogging I often complain about the wussification of America. Our schools, our mental health professionals and our politicians are doing everything possible to make us meek, helpless and fragile little dependents.

More evidence is the recent rise in the news of jerk neighbors putting up Halloween like decorations for Christmas. I have read about a hanged Santa, and now there is a field dressed Rudolph.

I see the humor in the bleeding Rudolph. It is funny. Were it October, I'd be fine with this display. But it also wrong.

Look @$$hole, it's Christmas!

Never mind the guy who did this, though. The reporter had no trouble finding upset neighbors.

"I don' think it's very nice at all. It's Rudolph and I think that's really nasty," said neighbor Bree McMahon. The homeowner wouldn't talk to Channel 9 Wednesday night. Neighbors said they just want the display taken down.

Waa Waa Waa! My problem with this is with these neighbors. What is the matter with you wimps!

What ever happened to neighborhood justice? I'm not talking about some homeowner association gestapo. I'm talking about a neighbor who goes next door late at night, cuts the display down, and crushes it with a sledge hammer, then writes an obsenity in the guy's yard with lime. Ok, don't do that last thing. But the first part of my suggestion is valid.

There is no reason for a neighborhood to put up with this. Solve the problem yourself and quit whining.

What Redemption Sounds Like

Larry Elder discussed Tookie's plight recently. The money quote:

Williams' life inspired the movie called "Redemption." But a truly redeemed Williams would have said: "This is what happens. This is where you end up when you think the rules do not apply to you; when, because of anger and rage, you kill innocent people. I accept responsibility for what I did. I apologize to the family members. Please understand that I was not a victim of a racist, unfair criminal justice system, and I urge all criminals to first look into the mirror before blaming the police, the judges, the system. I made choices that put me here. The lesson of my life is -- no matter your circumstances, your race, your class -- you are responsible for making proper moral decisions. It is your duty to do so."

That's redemption.

He also discusses the NAACP's selective outrage over the death penalty. A good read.

Death Of A Mock Star

Stanley Tookie Williams was put to death recently. I'm sure the blogosphere has covered this extensively. My observations are simple enough.

The guy was destined for this end. "Tookie" is not a nickname. It is his given middle name. Johnny Cash sang about a guy who was named "Sue" by his piece of crap father who wanted to force him to fight all of his life. With a name like Tookie, he may have been destined for a life of violence (that will be my only attempt at humor in this post).

If violence was his destiny, Tookie fulfilled that destiny willingly and often.

In 1969, Tookie founded a street gang that later beame known as the "Crips." That history is hardly worth exploring, though the D.A. did in the clemency hearing. We have all heard about the Crips. It will never be accused of being a civil society.

In February of 1979, Albert Lewis Owens worked at a 7-11. During a robbery with other predators, Tookie directed him to a back storage room and ordered him to lie down. Tookie shot out a security monitor and then killed Owens, shooting him twice in the back as he lay prone on the storage room floor.

Tookie bragged about his murder of Owens, stating, “You should have heard the way he sounded when I shot him.” One of the participants in this robbery, Tony Sims, was not given immunity in exchange for testimony. Rather, he was tried for and convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison. His testiomony supports the conviction and other witnesses against Tookie for this crime.

In March of 1979, the Yang family, Taiwanese immigrants, operated a hotel in South Central. In the early morning, Tookie broke down the door to a private office and shot and killed husband and wife, 76 year old Yen-Yi Yang and sixty-three year old Tsai-Shai Yang. Tookie then topped off the evening killing their daughter, 43 year old Yee-Chen Lin. He then emptied stole the cash on hand and left.

In 1979, while in jail, Tookie and another inmate planned an escape. The plans at various times called for the planned murder of guards.

In 1981, a jury of one black, one hispanic and 10 whites convicted him. They recommended the death penalty. It took 24 years for that to happen. Tookie allegedly threatened the jury after he was found guilty.

In prison, Tookie is allegedly the model for reform. Let's see.

June 1981: Tookie involved in a fight with another inmate and ignored orders to stop beating the inmate.

Jan. 1982: Tookie threatens a guard, stating "you'll get yours boy, I can do anything now because I know what the gunmen will do…one of these days I'll trick you boy."

Jan 1982: Tookie thrice threw chemical substances at guards. One resulted in burns of the guard and hospitalization.

Feb. 1984: Tookie beat another inmate. In an effort to stop the attack, the guard blew his whistle and drew his weapon. Only a warning shot stopped him.

June 1984: Tookie was engaged in some activity with a female visitor, and when approached by a guard stated, "you are looking around too much and that's not your job. I have dusted many officers on the street, one more would not make any difference."

July 1986: Tookie again beat an inmate and ignored calls to stop the beating.

Oct. 1988: Tookie in another fight, this time getting himself stabbed by Tiequon Aundray Cox (aka Lil Fee), a Rolling 60s Crips member, and fellow death row inmate. Prison officials subsequently learned that this stabbing was done in retaliation for a stabbing of another inmate ordered by Tookie.

Oct. 1988: Tookie was placed in Administrative Segregation based on his association with the Crips street gang.

Dec. 1991: Tookie involved in another fight with an inmate and again ignored orders to stop until faced down with guns and a warning shot.

July 1993: Tookie involved in large shower fight until warning shots fired.

His prison record is allegedly clean from this point forward. Since this time, he has allegedly became redeemed. From what is unclear, since while claiming redemption, he also claimed innocence. Of course, we know he wasn't a peace seeking individual at the time of his incarceration. He was a cold blooded and violent person.

Tookie wrote some children's books. Tookie was nominated by Leftists for Nobel Prizes. This included, yeah, get this, Peach, and for Literature. On the plus side, should he win the Nobel Peace Prize, he would not be the most prolific murderer to receive the award. He would be a far second to Yasser Arafat (ok, you could argue that was a second attempt at humor, but was it funny because it is true?).

The story of Tookie's redemption (which is the name of the movie about his redemption, starring Jamie Foxx - photo at right) has its doubters. Tookie never renounced his membership in the Crips. He never assisted in the prosecution of a single gang member.

Maybe Tookie redeemed himself. I cannot say. While I can and will judge conduct, I cannot judge the state of one's soul. I hope Tookie redeemed himself with the Lord. I hope he found peace in his heart and sincerely repented for the many lives he destroyed -- directly and indirectly.

Nonetheless, we live in a country of laws. The law was served well this week. Tookie received everything he needed to receive before being justly executed by a society that had every right to take his life -- as punishment, as deterent, and as retribution. Tookie received a fair trial. Tookie received a number of appellate reviews of his trial. Tookie received a full clemency hearing by the Governor of his state. Tookie received spiritual guidance prior to his execution.

Tookie, if you were sincerely turned, may God accept and lift up your soul in heaven. Those on earth, however, were justified in returning you to your maker.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I'm Back

Spread the word. KJ's busy end of year and post trial work body slam rush is now back to normal middle of year just busy type pace.

I will begin my previously normal blogging pace by Thursday evening.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back often.

The Cheese is back on-line.

It Is Christmas Time

At least at my household. But it certainly fine with me if you do something else, or nothing, this time of year. If you want to say Happy _________ to me, fine. I won't get upset. Don't get upset if I say Merry Christmas. Not a hard rule to live by.

From Stop The ACLU, now available on my blogroll.

Also, check out Uncommonly Sensible, Camojack's site.

Yeah, I Know

Still, nothing to speak of here.

Though it is only Wednesday, I am hankering to go get a beer.

I'm sure Pile On would join me.

If I lived further north, I would only have to go to the front door.

But since I live in the South, I'm stuck with the fridge.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Still Light Blogging

But I promise, it will pick up later this week and should go back to normal for the rest of the year.

In the meantime, I try to help. BTW, the chicken crossing the road additions provided by my readers were wonderful. Some of the best reader participation the Cheese has ever seen.

In the meantime, there is a new website dedicated to Happy News. It is worth checking out when you are tired of reading news and eating prozac together.

Also, try this Christmas Quiz. Or is it Holiday Quiz?

Friday, December 09, 2005

Friday Funny

I have been such a bad blogger since mid-November (that is not meant to imply I was a good blogger before that). Anyway, here is a Friday Funny I received by e-mail, probably like everyone else out there. But I don't recall reading it before, and I thought it was funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.ERNEST HEMINGWAYTo die in the rain. Alone.

I dream of a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

It was an historic inevitability.

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of chicken.

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

I invented the chicken!

Did I miss one?

Do you have someone else's answer? Please share.

We Are Winning In Iraq

In the predawn stillness of this wintry morning in Western Maryland, I watch snow gather in inexorable drifts outside my window and wonder: should I go outside now and start shoveling? Or let it build for a few hours and deal with it all in one fell swoop?

It's an endless battle, really. I could spend the whole day pulling boots, gloves, my favorite Aussie cowboy hat and leather jacket on, then off again. Trudge in and out my front door, only to repeat the process an hour or two later. Doesn't seem terribly productive, does it? Or I could get on with the rest of my work. Accept that snow will continue to fall onto my driveway as surely as great motivational speakers like Kerry, Dean, and Murtha will continue to carpet bomb our national will back into the stone age with timeless phrases like "We can't win this war", "Our troops are terrorizing children", and "The Army is living hand to mouth".

My mind drifts back to an earlier time of doubt, and the words of another great Democratic leader: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself". Truly, these are the times that try men's souls. At such moments we see of what mettle we are made. Sometimes I fear there isn't a shovel big enough for what lies outside my door.

In one week, the Iraqis will go back to the polls and history will be made once more. The situation on the ground is vastly different than it was a few years ago. But most Americans would never know that from opening their newspapers or turning on their television sets. In the WaPo yesterday there was a remarkable piece. The title alone speaks volumes: In Iraq, Signs of Political Evolution: Parties That Shunned January Vote Are Now Embracing the Process.

Tucked into a bunker-like former headquarters of Saddam Hussein's Baath Party, a type of war room unfamiliar in this country buzzed with life Wednesday. Halfway through a 14-hour shift, campaign workers from the Iraqi Islamic Party, a Sunni Arab group that boycotted the country's previous elections in January, munched rice and kebabs, their faces lit by computer screens.

Television and radio airwaves are replete with slick advertisements costing anywhere from $1,250 per minute on al-Sumariya, a Lebanon-based satellite station focused on Iraq, to $5,000 per minute on al-Arabiya, a network based in the United Arab Emirates that is popular across the Arab world.

Most major parties now have interactive Internet sites that provide information about platforms. Several parties employ cell phone text-messaging technology that allows them to send messages to hundreds of potential supporters at once. Funding comes from dues and donations paid by members.

Contrast this with the rain of negativity we hear from Joe Biden, Ted Kennedy, and John Murtha. If you read nothing else today, read this one piece. Read it all. And think about the implications. Hopeless, destitute people do not pour $5000 a minute into paid political advertising, or construct interactive Internet sites to facilitate political participation in the future of their nation. The Iraqis are investing in democracy: big-time.

In Afghanistan, a new poll indicates that hope is breaking out all over:

Four years after the fall of the Taliban, Afghans express both vast support for the changes that have shaken their country and remarkable optimism for the future, despite the deep challenges they face in economic opportunity, security and basic services alike.

Poverty is deep, medical care and other basic services lacking, and infrastructure minimal. Nearly six in 10 have no electricity in their homes, and just 3 percent have it around the clock. Seven in 10 Afghan adults have no more than an elementary education; half have no schooling whatsoever. Half have household incomes under $500 a year.

Yet despite these and other deprivations, 77 percent of Afghans say their country is headed in the right direction — compared with 30 percent in the vastly better-off United States. Ninety-one percent prefer the current Afghan government to the Taliban regime, and 87 percent call the U.S.-led overthrow of the Taliban good for their country. Osama bin Laden, for his part, is as unpopular as the Taliban; nine in 10 view him unfavorably.

Progress fuels these views: Despite the country's continued problems, 85 percent of Afghans say living conditions there are better now than they were under the Taliban. Eighty percent cite improved freedom to express political views. And 75 percent say their security from crime and violence has improved as well. After decades of oppression and war, many Afghans see a better life.

Of course I'm sure John Murtha or Joe Biden will soon rush into the breach with some pithy public comment to restore the proper sense of cynicism, lest the American public be tempted into irrational exuberance at these alarming developments.

On the military front, training of the Iraqis is proceeding apace, if not as fast as we would like. A friend writes:

This story goes right in line with what my son tells me. The boys are fiercely proud of their Iraqi Army guys and will stack them up against their own men any day. "They are heart breakers and life takers", he says. These boys believe in the new IA. My son said the same thing Smith says in this article, "Damn it, they run right TO the sound of the guns and know what they're doing when they get there!". Now that is some endorsement from a Grunt! Crying shame the American populace doesn't get it!

And what does Smith say? There is a new breed of fighter in Iraq - the citizen-soldier:

"The new Iraqi soldier is not afraid of his government as was the case in the previous army," Phares says. "Just the opposite, he is backed by his own government. He feels closer to his people and many among them have seen Saddam's bloodshed directly. I believe they display more courage than any other fighter in Iraq, because they operate in the open, against terrorism."

The guerrillas also have a newfound respect for the new Iraqi soldier.

"A year ago, they [the insurgents] freely attacked the Iraqi military, but now the Iraqi troops dominate the killing ground," says Gen. Bolger. "So the hostiles have resorted to remote bombings because they can't stand and fight the Iraqi soldiers anymore. Their worst nightmare is to confront an Iraqi rifleman in the dark, face-to-face. That will only go one way."

Bolger adds, "The new Iraqi military's officers and NCOs lead from the front, and what we see in training translates into combat. I have been on many, many operations with Iraqi forces, to include numerous infantry platoon foot patrols, with Iraqi Marines on guard out on the oil platforms, on mechanized sweeps, and with midnight raids, and the Iraqis have never quit. They get the job done, under fire. They run to the sound of the guns sometimes at cost. They recover their dead and wounded. They seek the enemy. They expect to win their firefights." And they do.

Of course John Murtha just held another press conference. You may be interested to hear some of the things he had to say. My remarks are interjected in italics:

Let me separate terrorism from insurgency. When I was in Iraq in 1991, president -- or King Fahd said to me -- this was an early morning meeting, like two or three o'clock in the morning, when he normally met with people during the air war.

And he said: Get your troops out of Saudi Arabia the minute this war's over. You're on sacred ground. You're destabilizing the whole region. I reported that back to the State Department and, as you know, we didn't get our troops out of there. We left our troops there.

Bin Laden said he attacked the United States because of the troops in Saudi Arabia. That's terrorism. Terrorism was in London. Terrorism was in Spain. Terrorism was, obviously, in the United States.

That's completely separate from what's going on in Iraq. Iraq is an insurgency. At one of the hearings early on, Secretary Rumsfeld denied there was an insurgency. He said it was a gang of something or another. But they wouldn't admit that they were having real problems over there. They kept being unrealistic, illusionary about what was going on in Iraq.

Terrorism: "the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion". Check. Insurgency: "a condition of revolt against a government that is less than an organized revolution and that is not recognized as belligerency". First of all, the "insurgents" are "recognized as a belligerancy". That's why we're fighting them. If anything, what we have here is an "insurgency" that is deliberately using terrorist tactics, so Rep. Murtha's characterization is wrong. They are NOT completely separate but intimately intertwined - it is he who is being unrealistic. The "insurgents" are not attacking government or the military. They are terrorizing civilians in an attempt to prevent them from forming a democratic government.

One of the major problems we have in fighting an insurgency is the military and the way they fight. And I adhere to the way they fight. They send in massive force. They use artillery, they use air and mortars. And they kill a lot of people in order to suppress fire and protect our military. I'm for that.

So once again Murtha, out of his vast experience, defines the problem for us. It's not the insurgents, you see: it's the military who are causing all the fuss. We should not have been in Saudi Arabia in 1991 because it was destabilizing the entire region and caused Osama to attack the WTC twice. Note that it wasn't Saddam who "destabilized the region" by invading Kuwait, but "our troops" who were "destabilizing the region" by their inflammatory presence in Saudi Arabia. But 15 years later, somehow "redeploying" our troops across the border will now magically stabilize things and NOT annoy al Quada? And killing a lot of people is bad and whacks off the Iraqis but he's all for it? Got it. The relentless rain of 'logic' continues:

But it doesn't make you any friends. That's part of the problem. For instance, in Fallujah, which happened about the same time -- the first Fallujah happened about the same time as Abu Ghraib -- we put 150,000 people outside their homes in Fallujah.

Fallujah=Abu Ghuraib. And Iraq=VietNam. It's deja vu all over again. Where is the aptly-named Dick Durbin with that little violin?

If you remember in Jordan, the bomber said that the reason she became a bomber was because two of her relatives were killed in Fallujah. We lost the hearts and minds of the people.

Now our Marines caused a homicide bombing. But don't you dare question his patriotism.

Hamre said: You've got three months to win the hearts and minds of the people, to get this under control, to get the looting and so forth under control.

Wow. That sounds suspiciously like a timetable. And we'll get the looting under We can't fight because that doesn't 'win us any friends'. redeploying across the border, dropping lollypops and Hershey's Kisses along the way, at which point Human Rights Watch will suddenly discover that tooth decay, obesity, and diabetes have increased threefold amongst the Iraqi populace and America will go on the list of The Worst Global Abusers for 2005.

But lest you have a single shred of optimism left, Rep. Murtha isn't done yet:

The biggest vulnerability we have in Iraq is the convoys. Every convoy is attacked. When I was in Anbar, at Haditha, every single convoy was attacked that goes there to bring the logistics and supplies that they need.

Really??? Every single convoy? That's pretty amazing. You'd think something like that would have been on the front pages of the NY Times.

When I said we can't win a military victory, it's because the Iraqis have turned against us. They throw a hand grenade or a rocket into American forces and the people run into the crowd and they -- nobody tells them where they are.

Those reporters really need to start getting out more. I am shocked at the lack of press coverage of this sort of thing.

I'm not talking about going back in if there's civil war, because we're in a civil war right now. We're caught in between a civil war right now.

A civil war. And not a peep in any of our leading newspapers. Incroyable.

I am convinced we can't win militarily. The military has said we can't win militarily

Yes, this jibes with what I'm hearing from that "broken Army" too:

A short summary of General Abizaid's comments, from contemporaneous notes:

He is amazed as he goes around the country and testifies before the Congress how many of our countrymen do not know or understand what we are doing or how we are doing. There are very few members of Congress who have ever worn the uniform (of our armed forces). He said that the questions he gets from some in Congress convince him that they have the idea that we are about to pushed out of Iraq and Afghanistan. There is no relation between this and the reality on the ground.

As he goes around the region and talks to troops and junior officer he is very impressed by their morale and their achievements. They are confident that they are capable of defeating the enemy. You will never see a headline in this country about a school opening or a power station being built and coming on line, or a community doing well. Only the negative things will get coverage in the media. He told the mid-grade/senior officers to go to their local Lions Clubs when they go home and tell the people what they are doing. If they don't get the word out, the American people will not know what is really happening. The insurgency is in four of 18 provinces in Iraq, not all 18. You do not hear about the 14 provinces where there is no insurgency and where things are going well. The insurgency in Afghanistan is primarily in Kandahar province (home of the Taliban) and in the mountain region on the Pakistani border. The rest of the country is doing well.

He said that we are focused on the things that we (Americans) have done wrong, like Abu Ghraib, and not talking about this enemy. We need to talk about this enemy. Al Qaida is all over the world. Their goal is to get the US out of the region and come to power in the Islamic countries of the region. From there their goal is to establish a Caliphate (under a single Islamic ruler) that goes from the Atlantic in North Africa to Indonesia in the Pacific. Fifty years after this happens their goal is to rule the rest of the world. Since Desert Storm in 1991 US forces have not lost any combat engagement in the region at the platoon level or above. Al Qaida has no beliefs that they can defeat us militarily. They see our center of gravity as being the will of the American People. That is influenced by the media and they are playing to that. They don't need to win any battles. Their plan is keep the casualties in front of the American people in the media for long enough that we become disillusioned...

We are winning but we have got to maintain constant pressure over time with the international community and across the US government agencies. No one is afraid that we can't defeat the enemy. Our troops have the confidence, the courage, and the competence. We need the will of the American people to be sustained for the long haul.

Read it. Read it all. And then decide what you want to believe. Visible evidence that Iraqis are investing in their future, the optimism of the Afghanis, the words of a Grunt in Iraq and an Army General, or the pessimism parade of a bunch of bitter men who repeat back-corridor whispers from unnamed REMFs?

Your decision. I leave you to it.

Meanwhile, I have some shoveling to do.

Crossposted at TigerHawk

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

2005 Bloggies

The competition is fierce, and the vote-begging has spread far and wide. Join the fun!

The 2005 Weblog Awards, such as they are and coordinated by Kevin at Wizbang, can be found on their brand-new dedicated site. You can link to blogs from the polling pages to check them out before voting, if you're unfamiliar.

A lot of blog-watchers, along with the nominees, have recommendations up. Mine come with extended critique of the program (I am not a nominee; I know, shocking), so if you'd like a good kvetch, enjoy.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Short Thoughts

Yes, I'm still busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. So some quick thoughts.

Saddam is not afraid of his execution. Well, that cowardly spider hole would suggest otherwise, but in any event, good. That makes two of us.

Businesses have the right to choose their clients. This business asks for kids to behave, which really just means that parents pay attention and control the little brats. The sign he posted is simple: "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices."

Good for him. All you parents of hellions, get over yourself. Your kid isn't the problem. You are. You don't have the right to bring your kids everywhere you want to go anyhow. If they can't behave, let the customers eat in peace.

This is just a facinating twist on the new Shaivo type debate:

The state, which now has legal custody of the child, wants to terminate her life support, citing medical tests that show she will never recover. Her stepfather has launched a legal battle to keep her alive.

But more than Haleigh's future hinges on the outcome. The stepfather, Jason Strickland, 32, is accused of taking part in a savage beating that left the girl in a vegetative state and dependent on life support. And if she dies, he could be charged with murder.

So the alleged abuser is just guilty of child abuse. But if she dies, it becomes murder. And while the article does not say what the law is in Massachusettes, I know many states place a time limit (often one year) on when a crime is committed that allegedly causes death may be called murder.

Is essence, we have an incentive by those with an interest to maximize punishment (e.g., the state) to "kill" the victim by turning off the life support, and the criminal has an incentive to prolong treatment because, after all, it isn't fair for you to kill her then charge someone else with murder.

Naturally, I think the legal custodian (in this case, now the State) gets to decide. But some effort should be made to ensure that the incentives arising out of the criminal case are removed from the decision.

Finally, the headline:

Arkansas Man Caught After Scaling White House Fence.

Later, Bill Clinton appologized and admitted that he should have just made an appointment.

Want to Kill Your Wife? Give Her Radioactive Flowers

In Amsterdam, of course, someone thought up glow in the dark flowers. In regular light, they are white. But in the dark, they glow green (see left).

Some of Saddam's WMD may be behind this.

They are sprayed with an invisible chemical that is not harmful to the flowers or people, the company said.
"The market needs fresh ideas and innovation, and Glowing Flowers fit into the 'bling bling' trend," the company said, referring to a fad for wearing copious jewelry inspired by rap musicians.
"The expectation is that the light-giving products will be primarily well-received in southern and eastern Europe," it said.

Because when I think hip-hop and bling, I think southern and eastern Europe.

Don't be the last on your block to give your sweetie bling flowers. Just don't carry them if you are trying avoid a drive-by.

Mondegreens Contest

Since KJ is still hard at work keeping the horrors of tort reform at bay, I thought I'd toss out a little holiday contest to pass the time. The object of this game is to come up with the best made-up-on-the-spot (or 'dismembered', as my boys used to say) Mondegreen.

What the (*&^% is a Mondegreen? You may well ask. Mondegreens are misheard lyrics. In fact, the word "Mondegreen" is itself the result of misconscrewing this poem:

Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands,
Oh, where hae ye been?
They hae slain the Earl o' Murray,
And Lady Mondegreen.
(laid him on the green)

[groan] But moving right along, it just wouldn't be Yuletide without one of my favorite Christmas songs from Jose Feliciano:

"There's fleas on your dad" (Feliz Navidad)

And I love to see small children caroling, their angelic voices lifted in song:

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,
Barney's the King of Israel.

Of course, after a cup of two of eggnog, holiday driving can be hazardous:

Good King Wences' car backed out
On the feet of heathens
When the snow lay round about,
Deep and crisp and even.

'Tis the Season for inclusiveness:

In the meadow we can build a snowman;
Then pretend that he is partly brown.

Even if that jerk Santa is just another evil fascist oppressor:

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Where the treetops glisten,
And children listen,
To hear slave elves in the snow.

So feel free to add your own Christmas memories in the comments section. And if you dismember having misconscrewed the lyrics to those holiday carols during your misspent youth... well, be creative. There must be a Christmas carol that you particularly loathe. We all have one. Maybe Elvis' Blue Christmas? Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire?

Go ahead...feel free to make something up.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The President Needs Some Bully With His Pulpit

I find President Bush a difficult to support President at times. And it isn't just because I am disappointed in him for the battles he avoids or the spending he doesn't veto. I also find it difficult to believe that he doesn't do a better job getting his good accomplishments in the headlines.

He is doing a better job right now with the war. He has turned up the heat on his critics, and his speeches in this area are bringing him some deserved good press. One this week stands out.

But we learned from President Clinton that economic prosperity can cover up a whole lot of sins. And President Bush is currently overseeing a huge economic boom. Housing sales just hit an all time high. Unemployment is at 5% and employment is growing, meaning people are entering the workforce and finding jobs. When is the President going to shove this good information down our throats?

Larry Kudlow reminds us of who created the formula for success.

Their polls are sagging, but the economy is soaring. This simply shouldn’t be.
If former President Clinton had overseen this economy, he’d have held daily Rose Garden news conferences to mark the occasion. In fact, former President Reagan did just that in the booming 1980s -- he gave speech after speech touting the success of his supply-side tax cuts. Yet President Bush seldom goes into the current economic story, and when he does it’s just a mention.

After explaining the tremondous economic news, Kudlow offers some policy advice on keeping the economy growing. But the real point, as I saw it, was why doesn't the President make it impossible to ignore this news. Because when it can, the LameStream Media will ignore the good news, or downplay it.

Confront the Left and the media, President Bush. Make them poor mouth numbers that would have made Clinton proud. You remember those years -- 1992 to 2000 -- when we didn't hear about the homeless or the unemployed or the gap between the rich and the less rich (in America, the poor are merely less rich by the world's standards). We are still living them as a country. The only thing that has changed is a war and the party of the President. To the media, that means the focus changes. It is up to President Bush to make it impossible to ignore his success.

So step forward and start talking.

NOTE: The picture is of a horse named "Bully Pulpit." It was the best picture I could find on Yahoo with that search.

What A Gay Argument It Will Be

The Supreme Court has allowed (beginning with Bush v. Gore) the immediate release of oral argument audio tapes in certain high profile cases. Just last week, it released the oral argument on the challenge to New Hampshire's parental notification for minor's abortions. [Althouse, whose commentary is not particularly insightful, has two links to the oral argument in that case.]

On Tuesday, the Court will hear, and immediately release, oral argument on the Solomon Amendment. As I understand the case to be heard, the issue is whether Federal funds may be withheld from colleges and universities that close their campuses to military recruiters in supposed protest over the military treatment of homosexuals.

We all know, of course, that the real reason is that college administrators dislike the military in general. The gay issue is convenient, and made even more important since many university administrators also oppose the current administration and the war in Iraq.

A university exists in this country because of the presence of our military. Our military has never attempted, much less imposed, a martial law in this country that indicated any effort to overcome our civilian government. Our military protects us from enemies that would gladly behead the university administration. Then there is the undeniable fact that many people greatly benefit personally from the discipline and training in the military.

My point is not that the military should be criticism free. But to deny access to the military at a university accepting public funds (or private funds for that matter) is wrong and utterly absurd. The government, which opperates the military, should expect equal access of its most important institution by an institution holding its hand out for funds.

Not to mention that many liberals who oppose our military argue that the military is filled with poor and uneducated people. Seem to me the remedy is to allow the military access to the educated, probably more affluent college students. But the left doesn't look at the military's alleged class disparity as a problem to be solved. The left looks at the military itself as the problem to be solved.

I will look forward to hearing these arguments, if I get around to it.

For better commentary on this subject, go here and here and here.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Democrats Diversity

I don't vote for Republicans all that much. I do tend to vote against Democrats a lot though. They have proven in the last 12 years to be a group that I have trouble understanding. Many, especially on the national level, seem to hate this country. But that "generalization" is not true of all. For example, one Democrat I could see myself voting for one day is Joseph Lieberman. Since you probably didn't see this story covered in the LameStream Media, here is what he said this week:

Sen. Joe Lieberman, fresh from a two-day visit to Iraq over the Thanksgiving holiday, said Monday he was hopeful U.S. forces could begin a "significant" withdrawal by the end of next year or in 2007.

"The country is now in reach of going from Saddam Hussein to self-government and, I'd add, self-protection," the Connecticut Democrat said in a conference call with reporters. "That would be a remarkable transformation … I saw real progress there." "If Iraqi forces continue to gain the confidence the American military sees there now … We will be able to draw down our forces," he said.

Lieberman has visited Iraq four times in 17 months. He said there are signs life is returning to normal, including a profusion of cell phones and satellite TV dishes on rooftops. "About two-thirds of the country is in really pretty good shape," he said, noting most attacks are in the so-called "Sunni Triangle" region. "Overall, I came back encouraged."

Lieberman said he hopes President Bush's speech Tuesday night will give a clearer picture to the American public of the progress being made in the war. "It's time for some details," said Lieberman. "He's gotta describe some of the progress that I saw there. It's gotta be realistic."
U.S. military officials told him they hope that by next year, two-thirds of Iraq's military will be able to carry the fight to insurgents with limited logistical support from U.S. forces. Lieberman said U.S. commanders had learned from their early mistakes and were successfully pursuing a "clear-hold-build" strategy against rebel forces.

He cautioned, however, that "prematurely" pulling out U.S. forces would jeopardize the progress made thus far.

What a remarkably reasonable and apparently honest assessment of our war effort. Most importantly, what a clear statement that Lieberman actaully wants the U.S. effort to be successful. Lieberman must be drinking the Kool-Aid though. Doesn't he know we are losing and about to fail miserably?

The real Democrat, Murtha, explains how bad things really are in Iraq.

Most U.S. troops will leave Iraq within a year, and the Army is "broken, worn out" and may not be able to meet future military threats to the country's security, Rep. John Murtha said.

"I predict he'll make it look like we're staying the course," Murtha said, referring to Bush. "Staying the course is not a policy."

Murtha, 73, the ranking Democrat on the House Appropriations defense subcommittee, expressed pessimism about Iraq's stability and said the Iraqis know who the insurgents are, but don't always share that information with U.S. troops. He said a civil war is likely because of ongoing factionalism among Sunni Arabs, and Kurds and Shiites.

Murtha doesn't just want us to leave. He wants us to admit defeat and leave in shame. He says our troops are not up to the task and are failures, despite the gains that Lieberman saw through his rose colored glases.

One thing is sure. If Murtha speaks for a party with about 50% of our population, we are doomed. If, on the other hand, Lieberman speaks for those people, we have a chance.

I'm hoping Lieberman is their man.

Teachers In Uproar

The NSA has proposed allowing people to fly with scissors.

That's right. We all know you shouldn't run with scissors, but apparently our Federal Government, whose primary job according to the Constitution is to protect us from all threats to our safety (self imposed or otherwise) and to fund abortions, is saying it is OK to fly with scissors. Naturally, this proposal is opposed by teachers' unions, but I doubt President No Child Left Unstabbed by Scissors cares.

This is no doubt the result of President Bush's long memory and bitterness of being scolded for running with scissors by his teachers. We know he is willing to start a war just because some benevolent dictator that Plato would have approved of tried to kill his father. Now he wants thousands of Americans to be impaled by scissors as they try to land after going over 600 miles per hour.

This is discraceful. I don't know if I can even work today.

What happens when one runs with scissors.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Which General Are You

This test was pretty fun. One of my co-workers was a hippie, but I was a cool general played by Mel Gipson.

William Wallace
You scored 66 Wisdom, 69 Tactics, 63 Guts, and 46 Ruthlessness!
Like William Wallace, chances are you have no problem charging a larger, better trained, better equipped, better armed and armored English army with a band of naked drunken Scotsmen. I'm not contesting that you have balls. It's your brain function I'm worried about.

Scottish soldier and national hero. The first historical record of Wallace's activities concerns the burning of Lanark by Wallace and 30 men in May, 1297, and the slaying of the English sheriff, one of those whom Edward I of England had installed in his attempt to make good his claim to overlordship of Scotland. After the burning of Lanark many joined Wallace's forces, and under his leadership a disciplined army was evolved. Wallace marched on Scone and met an English force of more than 50,000 before Stirling Castle in Sept., 1297. The English, trying to cross a narrow bridge over the Forth River, were killed as they crossed, and their army was routed. Wallace crossed the border and laid waste several counties in the North of England. In December he returned to Scotland and for a short time acted as guardian of the realm for the imprisoned king, John de Baliol . In July, 1298, Edward defeated Wallace and his army at Falkirk, and forced him to retreat northward. His prestige lost, Wallace went to France in 1299 to seek the aid of King Philip IV, and he possibly went on to Rome. He is heard of again fighting in Scotland in 1304, but there was a price on his head, and in 1305 he was captured by Sir John de Menteith. He was taken to London in Aug., 1305, declared guilty of treason, and executed. The best-known source for the life of Wallace is a long romantic poem attributed to Blind Harry, written in the 15th century.

Take the test here.

Caption Contest...

over at Castle Argghhh!